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Food for Living: Understanding Yourself

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By Henry Ukazu

Dear Destiny Followers,

The more you know yourself, the more patience you have for what you see in others.” – Erik Erikson

One of the best things to happen to any individual is the ability to know himself.

If you are asked, who you are. What will be your response? To truly understand yourself, one must be able to know his strength, weakness, passion, interest, vision, and most importantly, what he represents or stands for.

Just like life is a continuous learning process, understanding oneself is a life journey. We never get to fully understand ourselves and our capability. That is why when we achieve an uncommon feat, we are literally humbled. Again, when we are faced with a dare-devil situation like being broke, provoked, bullied, etc., one will be surprised to notice how he may react. It is therefore, difficult to say ‘I know myself’ because actions and reactions may sometimes differ.

As a Human Capacity Coach, my focus is to help every rational being discover their innate ability because it is only when they understand their innate ability, that they will be able to unleash their potential. It is important to state that we are all different and endowed with certain alienable gifts, talents and skills. Your duty is to uncover all the hidden potentials you have. Nobody knows you more than you know yourself. If you feel you have potential, dreams, goals, and inexplicable passion to birth a goal, but don’t know how to actualize, I will strongly advise you to find a coach to help you actualize it.

One of the worst feelings anyone can ever have is to live in regret. The greatest challenge most people have is that though they are truly inspired listening to great speakers, mentors, leaders, pastors, etc. they lack the implementation strategy, which is why we all need a coach.

Understanding oneself comes in different dimensions. A man/woman will not say he/she has fully and truly understood themselves until they marry. Sometimes, you may not know your potential until you have an encounter with a life-transforming coach, mentor, or with God who literally open your eyes to see a new version of yourself. To understand how understanding oneself really works, imagine being in a room with total darkness and the light is turned on, your countenance, feeling, focus, vision, understanding will be totally different because you’ll derive an uncommon strength from the light. That’s how you know the level of potential and capabilities in you when you understand yourself.

Understanding oneself, in the simplest of terms, is illuminating your lie positively.

The question now becomes how does one understands himself. I will be sharing some tips to guide you.

Know your purpose

Your mission on planet earth is for a purpose. You have an assignment and divine mandate to fulfill your purpose. You can’t be existing instead of living. It’s sad to note that the graveyard is the richest place on planet earth because that’s where many talents are buried. There are many dynamics to finding your purpose. To discover your purpose, you can reach out to your creator, listen to yourself, and know what you are not comfortable with in the world.

Take personality test

Some people find this resourceful. There are several tests available. I don’t know if it truly works. But you can consider giving it a try. For instance, the “Myers-Briggs Personality type theory says that all people have one of sixteen different basic personalities. These personalities can predict how you interact with people, the kinds of interpersonal problems and strengths that you have, and what kind of environment you live and work in best”.

Be vulnerable

Vulnerability is truly underrated in our society. Only strong people and leaders are willing to share their weaknesses, experience, and failures. You are not truly free until you have lived your life without caring what other people are saying. On your journey of life, you don’t have to be hard on yourself. Give yourself the permission to explore new things by taking risks and you’ll understand who you are and what you are capable of doing.

Many people expect too much from themselves and when they don’t achieve their set targets and goals in life, they feel they are failures. This shouldn’t be the case. It’s your life and nobody’s life. So, live it to the fullest. Tomorrow your mistakes will serve as an experience and learning curve. You’ll even laugh at them when you reflect. So, relax and enjoy the moments by traveling, getting an education, and having fewer expectations from people. Life is too short to live in regrets.

Be yourself

Don’t try to be like others. You must come to the realization that not everyone is going to like you. According to Oscar Wilde, be yourself, others are taken. Don’t try to fit in. Be the original version of yourself. This might be hard, but when you are your authentic self, your original friends will come close to you because they resonate with your work, but you when are fake, your original friends who are supposed to add value to your work will depart, and only fake people will resonate with you. Trust me, being fake is expensive while being true to yourself is cheap because you don’t have to spend or please anyone.

Do what makes you happy

One of the best ways to know oneself is by engaging in acts that make one happy. If I may ask you, what are your hobbies, what is the one thing you can do for free even if you are not paid for it?

How do you react?

It is widely stated that circumstances don’t say who you are, they reveal who you are. It’s not always right to assert how we’ll react when we are faced with different situations, because our reactions might be different when the occasion or situation rears its ugly head. One of the ways to know a man is to give him power, money, and riches. If he is able to overcome the pressures and temptations by managing them without them managing him, he’s truly a man.

In conclusion, regardless of what you may have experienced in life, don’t be hard on yourself; forgive yourself and if you feel you need someone to assist you in working through life, understanding oneself and how to unleash your potential by overcoming the challenges, setbacks, and failures of life, I’m here to assist you.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a Human Capacity & mindset coach. He’s also a public speaker. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of gloemi.com. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Kidnappers Kill Oyo Teacher in Captivity, Makinde Confirms

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Governor of Oyo State, Seyi Makinde, has confirmed that one of the teachers abducted during the recent terrorist attack on schools in Oriire LGA of the state, has been killed in captivity.

Speaking on Sunday during a press briefing on the incident, Makinde described the situation as “difficult and challenging”, saying the state government is intensifying efforts to rescue the remaining victims.

On Friday, gunmen riding motorcycles invaded communities within the Ahoro-Esiele/Yawota axis of Oriire, Ogbomoso, and abducted students and staff members of Community High School, Ahoro-Esiele, L.A. Primary School, Esiele, and Yawota Baptist Nursery and Primary School.

The attack left an assistant headmaster, identified as Joel Adesiyan, and a commercial motorcyclist dead.

According to Makinde, a video received by the state government confirmed the killing of one of the abductees identified as a mathematics teacher.

“What we know is that seven teachers in all were abducted and unfortunately, we got a video this morning that one of the teachers, the maths teacher, was killed by the terrorists this morning,” Makinde said.

Authorities have yet to confirm the exact number of schoolchildren abducted.

In the aftermath of the incident, videos recorded from captivity began circulating on social media, showing abducted teachers pleading with the government and Nigerians for urgent intervention.

One of the viral videos featured Rachael Alamu, principal of Community High School, Esiele, appealing to the government to help secure the release of the victims before they are killed.

Makinde detailed that six persons had been arrested within the affected locality over alleged links to the attackers, and that another three “persons of interest” were also arrested in connection with the attack.

“The information available from the Commissioner of Police is that six individuals have been arrested within the locality. Some of them were believed to perhaps be informants to people running logistics for the terrorists,” he said.

Following the attack, the Oyo Police Command announced the commencement of an intensive manhunt and rescue operation involving multiple security agencies.

Makinde said personnel of the police, military, the Western Nigeria Security Network codenamed Amotekun, and local hunters were mobilised immediately to pursue the attackers.

The governor said, however, some Amotekun operatives sustained injuries after encountering improvised explosive devices planted by the terrorists during the operation.

“After the incident, Amotekun, the police, military and hunters were mobilised to go after the terrorists and it was along that line that they ran into IEDs and some of the Amotekun operatives were wounded,” he said.

Sources told TheCable that the terrorists had initially opened fire on the security operatives who were approaching the Old Oyo national park on motorcycles, causing them to flee.

“When the shooting subsided, the operatives decided to go for their motorbikes. Unfortunately, a dynamite exploded against one Amotekun corps member and he was wounded. He has been taken to the hospital for medical attention,” a source said.

“Apart from air raid, the Old Oyo National Park Area can’t be easily accessed through infantry. It’s a long distance from the Oowe River which forms a natural landmark boundary for the park. Motorcycles would have to be used for the journey, but the noise of the approaching motorcycles alerted the terrorists.”

Makinde linked the attack to increasing pressure being mounted on terrorist groups in the north-east, warning that fleeing armed groups are moving into other parts of the country, including the south-west.

“With the pressure on the terrorists in the north-east theatre, they will keep moving southwards. Today, the governor of Kwara state has spoken to me. But the problem we have is that when you have pressure in one place, we must be prepared on this side to either repel or neutralise any terrorists fleeing the pressure,” he said.

The governor harped on the need for sustained government and security presence in vulnerable communities, warning that temporary military operations without long-term security measures could leave residents exposed to future attacks.

“If all we can do is clearance operations for a week or two and leave that place, the terrorists will come back and the people will become vulnerable,” he said.

He assured residents that the state government would be deploying military and non-military strategies to secure the release of the abducted victims and tackle the growing security threat.

“We have decided that we will adopt not just the kinetic approach. We have not taken this lightly,” he added.

Makinde also appealed for calm and patience from residents, acknowledging the complexity of the operation.

“I want to appeal to everyone that we are doing everything within our power to ensure that this would be resolved quickly and we bring our children back safely, but it is a very difficult and challenging situation so there may not be quick fixes,” he added.

Source: TheCable

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Food for Living: Stop Complaining

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By Henry Ukazu

Dear Destiny Friends,

Complaining is part of human nature. We complain about our health, school, family, friends, work, finances, government, and life in general. Human beings literally complain about everything and anything.

Over time, I have come to discover something about life: complaining doesn’t solve a problem; it adds to it. According to the Book of Life, why worry when you can pray? The moral of this statement is that instead of worrying, why not look for solutions? When you worry, it only accumulates the problems, but when you explore avenues to solve a problem, you’re literally praying.

Complaining is like having a problem and apportioning blame to another person instead of fixing it. One of the hallmarks of great minds is the ability to solve problems, while little minds complain.

In the world of visionary leaders, they don’t complain; rather, they see complaints as challenges of life, while lesser minds see complaints as problems of life. Again, while great leaders see problems as a gateway to make money and succeed by proffering solutions, little minds see problems as obstacles limiting their growth to succeed. Same action but different results and consequences.

As human beings, we tend to focus on what we don’t have instead of focusing on what we have. It’s only when we appreciate what we have that we give room for opportunities and favors to come to us. It’s unfortunate some of fucus on what we are going through instead of what we are becoming.

It’s instructive to note that complaints don’t lead us anywhere, rather it hinders our progress. Nobody likes complainers; complainers are usually seen as energy suckers because all they do is take without giving. Instead of complaining, why not practice gratitude? Gratitude helps to draw and attract opportunities.

In the world of human relations, the ability to manage people is an uncommon skill. One must learn to nurture relationships.  Human beings can be difficult to manage. While some exhibit meekness, gratitude, cheerfulness, and loyalty, some exhibit bitterness, frustration, depression, sadness, and sorrow. What most people don’t know is that we have the ability to change how we manage our lives and how we react to what life throws at us through our attitude.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not insinuating that complaining is wrong; rather, I’m insinuating it’s not healthy for our mental health. The only time we can complain about something is when we are proffering a solution; by so doing, we have highlighted the problems and proffered the solution.

 Complaints make us blind to see the good in others. As a word of advice, if you focus exclusively on the shortcomings of the people with whom you have to relate and forget that they have a good point, it will be difficult to see the good in them.

According to Yomi Garnett, focus on the good side of people and be intentional in learning about their mindset and inquire what made them who they are. Also, focusing on the good side of people despite their bad or weak side makes them feel valuable as human beings, and by so doing, we show our empathic personality.

In conclusion, resolve today to stop complaining and start appreciating the challenges of life with gratitude.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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EFCC Arraigns Blessing CEO over Alleged N36m Fraud

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The Lagos Zonal Directorate 1 of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) has arraigned social media personality and self-acclaimed relationship adviser, Okoro Blessing Nkiruka, before the Federal High Court in Lagos over an alleged N36 million fraud.

Blessing CEO was arraigned on Friday before Justice D.I. Dipeolu on a two-count charge bordering on obtaining money by false pretence and alleged theft involving N36 million

According to the EFCC, the defendant allegedly obtained the money from one Mrs. Ifeyinwa Nonye Okoye under the pretext of securing a six-bedroom duplex in Lekki, Lagos — a claim prosecutors said she knew to be false.

During proceedings, defence counsel P.I. Nwafor informed the court that the defendant had refunded N24 million to the complainant and requested a short adjournment to allow discussions over the outstanding balance.

“We have an application to make. The defendant approached the nominal complainant and refunded N24 million out of the N36 million.

“We are asking for a short adjournment to resolve the outstanding balance. The nominal complainant agreed that if the balance is paid, they can prevail on the EFCC to drop the case,” the lawyer said.
However, prosecution counsel S.I. Suleiman opposed the request, insisting that the commission was not involved in any private settlement arrangement.

 

 

“The complainant here is the Federal Government of Nigeria, and we are here for the arraignment. We urge that the defendant take her plea, as that is the business of the day,” he argued.
Ruling on the matter, Justice Dipeolu held that settlement talks could continue independently but would not stop the arraignment process.

“The defence and the nominal complainant can have discussions even during the pendency of the charge. It does not affect the proceedings before the court. The defendant will take her plea,” the judge ruled.

 

 

One of the charges alleged that between July 14 and 17, 2024, Blessing CEO fraudulently obtained N36 million from the complainant over a purported property lease in Lekki.

Another count accused her of unlawfully converting the money to personal use, contrary to provisions of the Criminal Code Act.

She pleaded not guilty to the charges.

Following her plea, the prosecution asked the court to commence trial and remand her in a correctional facility, while the defence requested that she remain in EFCC custody pending bail arrangements.

Justice Dipeolu subsequently ordered that the defendant be remanded in EFCC custody and adjourned the matter to June 5, 2026, for commencement of trial.

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