By Henry Ukazu
Greetings Destiny Friends,
It ua an undisputable fact that the rich have more friends than the poor. As a matter of fact, almost everyone wants to be a friend of the rich. That explains the saying that the rich have many relatives while the poor are orphans.
We live in a society where most people are respected and reverenced because of their status, title and the resources at their disposal. However, this should not be so; everyone deserves to be respected irrespective of their titles and resources.
Respect comes in different ways. Anyone who has made significant impact or achieved a commendable feat ought to be accorded a decent level of recognition for their uncommon feat because it’s not easy to do uncommon things most people only dream of doing or achieving. The question now is, what is the fate of those who tried but didn’t succeed?
Well, a lot of variable factors might contribute to why someone fails in his endeavour. It might be a case of not preparing enough; it might also be a case of being unlucky and not encountering favourable opportunity; it can also be a case of benefactors not aligning with the person; it can so be as result of weather, while others may say it maybe because of the universe not favoring the said individual.
Whatever may be the case, everyone deserves to be celebrated for the effort they have invested regardless of how life unfolds.
It’s sad however, to see people who have succeeded in business, politics, academic, entertainment, religion, health or even personal development looking down on other people, who are still struggling to succeed. What some people failed to understand is that nobody remains at the top forever. Those who have truly succeeded need those who have failed because there are symbiotic lessons they will enjoy.
The big question begging for answer now is, who will help the poor? The poor in this context refers to those who have tried and failed, the less fortunate, those who have tried and keep trying but are yet to succeed. The big answer is not far fetched; nobody will save you; you’ll have to save yourself. That’s the sad reality. Sometimes, we think our parents, mentors, family, benefactors, or God will come to our rescue, but in the journey of life, miracles happen within the limits of probabilities.
Let me explain further; though I believe in the power of miracles, especially coming from the spiritual aspect because the Book of Sirach in 11:21, tells me that “God can make a poor man to suddenly and instantly become rich” Also in Psalm 30:5, the Bible states that “tears may come at night, but joy comes in the morning”. That said, I’m quite aware that Heaven helps those who help themselves.
One can’t be preparing for an examination, and concentrate on praying all night, without making attempt to study. God will help you to fail. One can’t be praying for a child and fails to consummate the marriage with their partner, one can’t be praying to be rich and wealthy and fail to work. The list is endless.
It is when one has done the needful that the universe and God will conspire to assist them. In the same manner, your friends, mentors, family, benefactors can’t assist you if you haven’t assisted yourself. What most people don’t understand is that nobody owes you anything. Whatever act of goodwill anyone does for you is more like a favour, but it’s said a lot of people have an entitlement mentality.
A businessman, Emeka Ukazu, stated that “the four stages of an entitled mind are appreciation, anticipation, expectation and entitlement”. According to him, when someone is given a monetary gift, they always express appreciation at the first instance, next time, they look towards receiving another monetary gift or favour from you in form of anticipation, then it becomes a pattern of expectation for reasons best known to them before it finally becomes an entitlement.
Here is the gist; nobody will save the poor, the poor will have to save themselves. Just like nobody saved the rich, yes one may say the rich had one or two favours that made them to triumph. It should be noted that they may have played the right cards, paid their dues by interning, volunteering, or doing the needful to get the desired attention. They may have also had the right mindset, practiced delayed gratification or even did the work which attracted the right mentors to them. The question the poor or anyone who has failed should answer is, can I pay the price the rich man paid to get to where he is today?
Life is indeed a sacrifice; nothing is easy. I have personally sacrificed my time and resources to get certain opportunities. Needless to talk about the strategic risk I explored which some became positive while some didn’t go as planned. Back to the analysis – the rich man might have been once a poor man, who refused to stay poor, and he decided to take a proactive step to change the trajectory of his life.
I have had the opportunity to relate with some wealthy minds to see how they think. They don’t like social climbers or praise singers; they respect people with value. They also have their problems. I once heard that the richest Black man in the world, Alhaji Aliko Dangote, took the risk to borrow hundreds if not billions to fund his business. Imagine if the business had failed, that would have been tantamount to suicide. Then contrast that to if he succeeds and somebody somewhere will expect him to give back or even give them money because he is wealthy.
He might just smile if he’s in a good mood. In some cases, he might give if it aligns with his values or ideas in life. As much as I support giving back, the area I’m not comfortable is where some uninformed minds think that he will support them just because he has so much money. They don’t take into cognizance the risk he took to get to where he is. Some of them might not even dare to take the risk. That’s why it’s said, if a poor man is told what a rich man does to get rich, he will prefer to remain poor. That’s food for thought.
Now let’s flip the question. Who will help the rich? If the rich becomes broke, sick and bankrupt; who will help him? That’s the question I would want us to ponder for a minute. Everyone needs help. Just like I always say, everyone is experiencing a secret frustration, and as such needs help in one way or another.
So, when anyone gives you anything, please appreciate it from the bottom of your heart because in real sense, he doesn’t really owe you, unless he is paying you back for service or showing you appreciation or gratitude for whatever you have done for them in the past or presently.
In conclusion, as you go about your daily activities, explore avenues to add value to your life because you are the one who will save yourself, just like we save money so that money can save us.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
