By Henry Ukazu

Greetings Dear Friends,

I officially welcome you to the last month of the year.  The year is gradually coming to an end. At the inception of the year, we all made resolutions and had plans and expectations of what we intend to do before the end of the year. Some of us measured our successes every quarter. The question we should be asking ourselves however, is if we have been able to accomplish our goals and desires. If your answer is no, just know it’s not over for you. If your answer is yes, just relish in the words of Les Brown, “it’s not late to set another goal”. Sometimes in life, we may not reach our goal, but at least it is expected we try our best. According to Bruce Lee “A goal is not always something to be reached, it often serve as something to be aimed”.

When 2020 came, we were all beaming with joy; no one saw the pandemic neither did anyone see the recession some countries experienced due to the pandemic. In the journey of life, nothing is guaranteed, as widely acclaimed, tax and death are the only things that are guaranteed because we all must pay tax and we all must die one day.  In the same way, life may have thrown tantrums at you, you may have lost your job, lost a loved one, experienced divorce, experienced a set back in your personal and professional life. I don’t know what your situation or story is, but I just want to let you know that it is not over for you.

It is generally believed you can never have a second chance to make a first impression, but we fail to realize that we all need a second chance.  A student needs a second chance, an employee needs a second chance, a businessman needs a second chance, a divorcee needs a second chance, the prodigal son was given a second chance, even Christ died for us to give us a second chance. Getting a second chance is about giving yourself the opportunity to grow beyond your past failures. It’s about positively adjusting your attitude toward future possibilities. According to Edgar Caycee, “Don’t feel sorry for yourself if you have gone the wrong road, turn around”.

As human beings, we are always in a haste to make the next step without even taking stock of previous steps or decisions we have made which may have consciously or unconsciously led us to where we are today.  It is because the philosopher was so busy focusing on the journey ahead of him that he forgot there was a ditch in front of him, and the rest is history. Human beings are very important in our journey to success. According to Roy Bennet, “Good things happened when you surround yourself with good people”.

Challenges come in different shapes and styles, but what makes the difference is not only the way you managed it but what you learn from it. According to Robert Schuler, problems are stop signs, they are guide less”. Some of us go through different challenges, and we allow the experience, circumstance, or situation to define and shape us. Regardless of what you may be facing or have experienced, just know that your life is not over yet, there’s still a ray of hope for you. If you have ever watched a football or soccer match, you’ll realize that nothing is guaranteed until the referee officially ends the match. That’s simply how life works.

Furthermore, just like education is the greatest leveler, the child of a certified pauper can become a man of means tomorrow if properly educated. This simply tells you the only thing that is permanent is change. The mistake most of us make is that we measure and compare our progress with that of others. The only comparison you have to make is with yourself. That’s simply how to measure matured growth otherwise you may be heading into defective success.

If you are feeling downcast or thinking that your life is messed up, please note that there are people who are in a worst situation and have not given up. If you have plans of opening a new page in your life or business and you are afraid of what the future upholds, just take a leap of faith. Do you know you have a voice, and a message the world is itching to hear? There’s somebody crying and literally begging to be where you are today in addition to having what you have.

Sometimes in life, we feel it is over for us, we feel that there’s no other path, we feel we have lost it completely just because you lost a family member, business, or even an election, but we fail to understand that there’s a lesson and experience for us to learn. If you continue to worry and be afraid in your mind, it will be hard, Charlie Chaplin has a word for you “You will never find a rainbow if you are looking down”.

Learning how to overcome life is not rocket science; all you need to do is know what you want and what you don’t want. For example, you should know how to say no in a polite way without being offended. Saying no makes you focus on the needful because whatever “distracts” you can serve as an “attraction” if you are working on focus.

Another way of overcoming challenges is by finding what you love. In a world filled with so many distractions and negativity, you need to channel your energy on what you truly love and build on it. It’s by doing that you overcome unnecessary pressures and challenges. In order to move ahead, here are some guidelines

1.    Let go of the past

Sometimes, we are used to holding on to past experiences or hurt we suffered. These guilt feelings make us feel we can’t move ahead; most of us are always tormented by this feeling. We fail to understand that every difficult moment in our lives is accompanied by an opportunity for personal growth and creativity. When life throws dirt at you, dust yourself and move on, nobody cares what happens to you, rather they are concerned about what you were able to do with what was thrown at you. When you do this, you identify the lesson or situation that put you in such a mess and never allow it to reoccur.

2.    Accept accountability & eesponsibility

One of the greatest disservices we can do to ourselves is to lie to ourselves. Most times, we don’t tell ourselves the honest truth. Sometimes we put ourselves in a difficult situation and expect someone to clean our mess. For example, if you don’t manage your money, you’ll lose it, if you don’t manage your marriage, you’ll lose it, if you don’t manage your business, you’ll lose it. If you don’t manage your anger, you’ll lose it, if you don’t manage a good loyal friend, you’ll lose it. Accepting responsibly is the first step in owning a problem. You are the only one who can directly control the outcome of your life. Moral: You must take accountability for your situation and overcome these obstacles.  Choosing not to is giving up.

3.    Focus on the things you can change.

Another mistake we make is feeling we can solve every problem. For instance, a man who has an ego problem will find it difficult to ask for help when he needs assistance, and by the time challenge gets to the peak, the issue might have deteriorated. Getting assistance from professional or trained personnel will go a long way to fix any problem. Don’t channel your energy on what you can’t solve, rather channel it on what you can change or fix. In that way, you get peace of mind. Wasting your time, talent and emotional energy on things that are beyond your control is a recipe for frustration, misery, and stagnation. Moral:  Invest your energy in the things you can change.

4.    Figure out what you really want.

In some situations, we don’t know what we actually need. As a bachelor, you must know the kind of woman you want, and the same principle is applicable to a woman. As an entrepreneur, you must know what your skills set are, as a businessman, you must know what business you can manage in addition to having a good background and understanding, as a student, you must know the subject that interests you. Failure to do your due diligence might make you frustrated down the line, and it won’t take long for your life will be over.

The journey of life is truly not for the feeble minded. Just like marriage, you must brace up. From birth, you grow up, go to school, get a job, get married, start a family, have grandkid/ great-grandchildren before meeting your creator at the appointed time if life does not take us earlier.  So, as you journey through life, don’t give up, no matter the challenges that come your way.  According to Winston Churchill, “Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.

We all have different experiences which shape our life. To put it in a proper perspective, an encounter is an experience that makes your life story incomplete without the mention of that experience. To know if you have had an encounter, look at your life before that experience came and after it has made an impact on you.  An encounter can result on account of somebody you met, a job, your spouse, or even a spiritual transformation.

In conclusion, I don’t know what your storyline is, but I will leave you with the words of Roy Bennet, “be happy for everything that happened to you, is an experience”.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a mindset coach and self-discovery expert. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of gloemi.com. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com