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Sexless Marriage will Affect Your Mental Health
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By Adeoye Oyewole (adeoyewole2000@yahoo.com)
For most married couples, the bedroom is a place of privacy and sexual intimacy. But many who have been married for a while know that this is often not the case.
Sometimes and for a long period, the bedroom can become a lonely place. To be clear, a sexless marriage is a marital union in which little or no sexual activity occurs between both spouses. A Newsweek magazine survey found that 15 to 20 per cent of couples are in a sexless union.
Studies have even showed that about 10 per cent of couples below the age of 50 have not had sex in a year. The definition is often broadened to include those where sexual intimacy occurs less than 10 times per year.
In addition, less than 20 per cent of them report having sex a few times per year, or even monthly, under the age 40. This definition takes into consideration the fact that partners may have varying sexual drives, but not as bad as having sex only 10 times in a year.
It is difficult to obtain statistics about couples in Nigeria, but sexless marriages may be common among our modern, educated couples. Our religious and socio-cultural values that accommodate polygamy and forbid divorce may mask research findings and inadvertently encourage marriages, even if it is sexless.
If you are in this category, there is no shame. What you need is help before it begins to affect your mental health.
The major causes of sexless marriages are psychological, but a few are understandably due to some biological and clinical situations that could be handled medically, such as vulvae pain syndromes, fragile vagina tissues from low levels of oestrogen, prostate difficulties in men, post-heart attack or stroke states, chronic arthritis, chronic low back pain, side effects of medications and diabetic complications.
There are also clinical psychological states such as depressive illness, chronic fatigue syndrome, hypoactive sexual drive, gender identity problems or body image difficulties. However, more than 90 per cent of the causes of sexless marriages are due to issues in the psychodynamics of the marital relationship.
A partner may have feelings hurt repeatedly, get turned down too many times, get disrespected and erect a wall that does not allow issues to be resolved promptly. These unresolved conflicts can generate a state of permanent hostility that blocks sexual expression.
The partner, who behaves in a passive-aggressive manner, may block sexual intercourse as punishment or protection from hurt inflicted by the mate. The perceived rejection may lead to loss of interest in sexual communication, which may be complicated by loneliness, anger and lowering of self-esteem in the spouse who feels that basic sexual human needs are deliberately frustrated by the rejecting partner.
Other causes of this resentment may be due to perceived imbalance of duties and responsibilities, including moral, religious and financial issues. This may get complicated when extra-marital affairs set in, which may lead to reduced sexual interest in the estranged spouse and, if the affair is discovered, the innocent spouse may cease to want to be intimate with the offending spouse.
This may manifest as restricted, formal and coarse communication as partners treat each other with contempt. Couples in this situation are definitely in mental distress or already mentally ill, hence they require professional help.
Those deeper feelings of resentment must be uncovered and dealt with as they practise active listening and try to communicate creatively in the process of discovery. You may think you have a right to be resentful of the way you have been treated, and while it might seem natural, resentment creeps into everything you do.
Every time you talk to your spouse, every action you take can be so tainted with this resentment that it becomes a psychological burden. The path to recovery is that you make a conscious effort to do everything for the benefit of both of you, and not just yourself. You must be honest and, without hatred or fear or anger, confront the problem of sexual intimacy together.
The bedroom should be a peaceful and relaxing place by keeping it free of clutter. To bring the spark back, you can go on dates, do fun things together, especially things that ignite mutual passion and excitement.
There is a need for the services of a professional marriage counselor, who will help couples to navigate and elicit hidden resentments and resolve. Such a counsellor will also help to identity faculty communication styles that may have shut down sexual intimacy and suggest new patterns and also appropriately refer those with mental health issues.
A successful marriage requires commitment, effort, compromise and forgiveness. Sexless marriage can impair wholesome development of children in the home because of discordance in communication. In addition, less than 20 per cent of them report having sex a few times per year, or even monthly, under the age 40.
The facility of education and financial empowerment of our modern wives may serve as templates for more conflicts leading to ego-stalemates that may injure sexual intimacy. Our relatively lower rates of divorce, even among our educated couples, compared with the western world, may find compensation in sexless marriages as a manifestation of emotional divorce.
Headlines
Training Heights Canada Begins Operations with August Cybersecurity Training Programme
Training Heights Canada has commenced operations, opening its doors to professionals seeking globally relevant skills for one of the world’s most competitive job markets. The launch is anchored by a specialised Information and Cybersecurity NIST CSF Training and Certification programme beginning in August.
The programme is designed to help newcomers and aspiring professionals build competencies that align directly with the expectations of Canadian employers. It responds to sustained demand for cybersecurity, governance, risk and compliance professionals across Canada’s technology and business sectors, where organisations continue to expand their information security and regulatory compliance functions.
Running across four Saturdays in August, the training is structured around practical, industry-focused instruction in cybersecurity, information security governance, risk management and compliance frameworks. Participants will benefit from live instructor-led sessions, beginner-friendly learning modules, a certificate of completion and one month of live project experience aimed at strengthening job-market readiness.
According to the programme outline, the curriculum covers cybersecurity and IT governance, risk and compliance foundations, Information Security Management Systems (ISMS), internet security concepts, risk assessment and treatment planning, security controls, governance frameworks and practical implementation workshops. It also addresses globally recognised standards including ISO/IEC 27001, NIST Cybersecurity Framework 2.0, CIS Controls Version 8 and CMMC 2.0.
Training Heights Canada builds on the professional capacity-building practice the organisation established in Nigeria, bringing that experience to a Canadian audience with curriculum and delivery shaped for local employer expectations.
Speaking on the training program launch, General Manager Muyiwa Olubajo described the August intake as a deliberate first step in equipping professionals with skills that reflect the realities of the Canadian labour market.
“Canada presents enormous opportunities for skilled professionals, but many newcomers struggle because they do not fully understand the expectations of the market. Our goal is to bridge that gap by providing practical, industry-aligned training that helps participants build confidence, gain relevant knowledge and position themselves competitively,” Olubajo said.
He noted that the programme was designed to move beyond theoretical learning by exposing participants to practical workshops, governance frameworks and real-world cybersecurity scenarios.
“We are not just offering training; we are creating pathways to career readiness. Participants will gain exposure to globally recognised frameworks and practical implementation processes that employers value. We want them to leave the programme with knowledge they can immediately apply in professional environments,” he stated.
Beyond technical instruction, the programme places emphasis on career readiness. Participants will receive guidance on professional positioning, interview preparation, governance and compliance documentation, and strategies for navigating employment opportunities within Canada’s technology and cybersecurity sectors.
Olubajo said the organisation’s vision extends well beyond a single cohort.
“At Training Heights, our mission is to empower professionals to reach new heights. Beginning operations in Canada is an opportunity to contribute meaningfully to the success of professionals building sustainable careers in a highly competitive environment,” he said.
He added that Training Heights Canada intends to develop further programmes that respond to emerging industry needs while maintaining a strong focus on practical learning, professional growth and global standards.
With its August launch of its training programs, Training Heights Canada positions itself to support individuals advancing careers in cybersecurity, information security governance, risk management and related fields — strengthening workforce readiness in a rapidly evolving digital economy.
Headlines
Anthony Joshua Makes Historic Comeback, Beats Prenga via TKO
Two-time heavyweight world champion Anthony Joshua survived two early knockdowns on the way to a second-round knockout of Kristian Prenga on Sunday, his triumphant ring return paving the way for a blockbuster all-British bout with Tyson Fury.
The fight at the Jeddah Superdome was Joshua’s first since he was involved in a car crash in Nigeria in December that killed two of his close friends, Sina Ghami and Latif Ayodele.
The 36-year-old choked up when asked in the ring about his friends and the emotions of the past seven months, but said his second-round revival was down to more than pure punching power.
“That was spirit, that was Latz, that was Sina. That was family,” he said.
The devastating accident occurred little more than a week after Joshua demolished YouTuber-turned-boxer Jake Paul in a controversial Netflix-backed bout in December.
Joshua’s last prior competitive appearance in the ring was his fifth-round knockout loss to IBF world champion Daniel Dubois at Wembley Stadium in September 2024.
He improved to 30-4, with 27 wins by knockout, but not without drama.
Albania’s Prenga, a knockout artist who had 20 wins inside the distance in 21 prior fights, sent Joshua to the canvas with a right uppercut just 20 seconds into the bout.
He had Joshua on the ropes again, his legs shaky, before sending him down a second time late in the first round.
But Joshua steadied in the second, backing Prenga into the corner behind his jab, shrugging off more heavy blows from the Albanian before inflicting damage of his own with his left hand.
A brutal combination capped by a big right finally sent Prenga crashing through the ropes to end it at 2:43 of the second round.
Joshua and Fury now appear set for their “Battle of Britain” in November, at a venue still to be announced.
Fury, like Joshua a former two-time heavyweight world champion, did his part to make the long-anticipated fight happen, stopping Mariusz Wach in a low-key bout in Pattaya, Thailand, on Friday.
Fury, 37, outclassed Wach in front in the Thai resort city, chipping away relentlessly at the 46-year-old until he was pulled out by his corner in the seventh round.
It was Fury’s second win in as many contests this year in his return from a 16-month layoff.
– ‘We’re here now’ –
Fury wasn’t ringside in Jeddah as many had anticipated, but Joshua had a message for him even so.
“I’m gonna rip his heart out! I’m the meanest, most vicious champion that has ever been. Nobody can stop me,” he said.
“All jokes aside, there’s two sides of this thing,” Joshua added. “One is fire. You have to have that vim, that (roar). But also, there’s respect.
“I respect everything he has done and everything that he has achieved.
“But as a fighting person and someone who has been calling for this fight for a long time, we’re here now.”
Promoter Eddie Hearn, also speaking inside the ring in the wake of the bout streamed on DAZN, said the contract to fight Fury was signed.
“Everything’s done,” Hearn said. “But to be honest with you, tonight is all about the strength that (Joshua) showed to even be here tonight, and the strength that he had to show in that fight.”
Hearn said that as the first round unfolded, he feared Joshua had come back too soon after the traumatic loss of his friends.
But a beaming Joshua was bullish on the future.
“I can’t be stopped,” he said. “I’m not going to be stopped. I’m not going to be denied.”
Vanguard
Headlines
Atiku Tackles Obasanjo over Impeachment Sponsorship Claims Involving Na’Abba
Former Vice President Atiku Abubakar has questioned why former President Olusegun Obasanjo waited until after Ghali Umar Na’Abba’s death to allege that he paid the former House of Representatives Speaker N5 million to initiate impeachment proceedings against him.
Atiku said raising the allegation when Na’Abba could no longer respond denied Nigerians the opportunity to hear the other side, describing it as a politically motivated attempt to damage his reputation and boost the electoral fortunes of Obasanjo’s unnamed kinsman ahead of the 2027 presidential election.
Obasanjo alleged in a letter to former Governor of Ogun State, Olusegun Osoba that Atiku invited Na’Abba to the Presidential Villa while he was away and convinced the former speaker that he should serve only one term.
The former president claimed the alleged payment formed part of Atiku’s attempt to seize power by “hook or by crook”.
However, Atiku rejected the allegation as politically motivated in a statement issued on Friday by his Senior Special Assistant on Public Communication, Phrank Shaibu.
The African Democratic Congress (ADC) presidential candidate aid the timing of Obasanjo’s allegation showed that it was intended to influence the political contest ahead of the 2027 general election.
Atiku accused his former principal of attempting to tarnish his reputation to give an unfair political advantage to an unnamed kinsman.
“Coming at a time when the political landscape ahead of the 2027 general election is taking shape, the obvious objective is to besmirch my person and reputation and confer an undeserved political advantage on the former President’s kinsman,” he said.
Atiku argued that Nigerians were too discerning to be distracted by an allegation revived for political convenience.
He challenged Obasanjo to openly identify and support his preferred presidential candidate instead of attempting to shape public opinion through claims that could no longer be independently tested.
“If former President Obasanjo has chosen to take a political position ahead of 2027, he should simply declare it and allow Nigerians to judge it on its merits,” Atiku said.
The former vice-president questioned why Obasanjo waited until after Na’Abba’s death to repeat the allegation, saying the timing denied Nigerians the opportunity to hear the former speaker’s version of events.
He also maintained that the bribery allegation had no judicial or official backing.
Atiku argued that Obasanjo’s government controlled the full powers of the Nigerian State and could have investigated and prosecuted any criminal conduct if credible evidence existed at the time.
“If there was indeed evidence of any criminal conduct as alleged, Nigerians are entitled to ask why no action was taken at the time by a government that wielded the full powers of the Nigerian state,” he said.
Atiku linked Obasanjo’s continued hostility towards him to their disagreement over the alleged attempt to secure a third presidential term.
He said he opposed the plan because it threatened Nigeria’s constitutional democracy and refused to sacrifice democratic principles for Obasanjo’s personal ambition.
The ADC leader recalled that he successfully challenged actions taken against him by the Obasanjo administration through a series of court cases.
“Rather than surrender democratic principles on the altar of personal ambition, I defended the Constitution and successfully asserted my rights through the courts in a series of landmark legal victories against a sitting President,” he said.
Atiku described those legal battles as an important part of Nigeria’s democratic history, insisting that Obasanjo had not overcome the bitterness created by their confrontation.
He said he would not allow himself to be dragged into a prolonged dispute over past political battles while Nigerians faced worsening economic hardship, hunger, unemployment and insecurity.
Atiku said his attention remained on presenting credible alternatives, protecting democracy, demanding accountability and working with patriotic Nigerians to restore competent and transparent leadership.
“Nigerians deserve solutions to today’s problems, not recycled political tales from yesterday,” he declared.






