Headlines
Sexless Marriage will Affect Your Mental Health
- /home/rhoncare/pointblank.ng/wp-content/plugins/mvp-social-buttons/mvp-social-buttons.php on line 27
https://pointblank.ng/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/Sexless-1000x600.jpeg&description=Sexless Marriage will Affect Your Mental Health', 'pinterestShare', 'width=750,height=350'); return false;" title="Pin This Post">
- Share
- Tweet /home/rhoncare/pointblank.ng/wp-content/plugins/mvp-social-buttons/mvp-social-buttons.php on line 69
https://pointblank.ng/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/Sexless-1000x600.jpeg&description=Sexless Marriage will Affect Your Mental Health', 'pinterestShare', 'width=750,height=350'); return false;" title="Pin This Post">
By Adeoye Oyewole (adeoyewole2000@yahoo.com)
For most married couples, the bedroom is a place of privacy and sexual intimacy. But many who have been married for a while know that this is often not the case.
Sometimes and for a long period, the bedroom can become a lonely place. To be clear, a sexless marriage is a marital union in which little or no sexual activity occurs between both spouses. A Newsweek magazine survey found that 15 to 20 per cent of couples are in a sexless union.
Studies have even showed that about 10 per cent of couples below the age of 50 have not had sex in a year. The definition is often broadened to include those where sexual intimacy occurs less than 10 times per year.
In addition, less than 20 per cent of them report having sex a few times per year, or even monthly, under the age 40. This definition takes into consideration the fact that partners may have varying sexual drives, but not as bad as having sex only 10 times in a year.
It is difficult to obtain statistics about couples in Nigeria, but sexless marriages may be common among our modern, educated couples. Our religious and socio-cultural values that accommodate polygamy and forbid divorce may mask research findings and inadvertently encourage marriages, even if it is sexless.
If you are in this category, there is no shame. What you need is help before it begins to affect your mental health.
The major causes of sexless marriages are psychological, but a few are understandably due to some biological and clinical situations that could be handled medically, such as vulvae pain syndromes, fragile vagina tissues from low levels of oestrogen, prostate difficulties in men, post-heart attack or stroke states, chronic arthritis, chronic low back pain, side effects of medications and diabetic complications.
There are also clinical psychological states such as depressive illness, chronic fatigue syndrome, hypoactive sexual drive, gender identity problems or body image difficulties. However, more than 90 per cent of the causes of sexless marriages are due to issues in the psychodynamics of the marital relationship.
A partner may have feelings hurt repeatedly, get turned down too many times, get disrespected and erect a wall that does not allow issues to be resolved promptly. These unresolved conflicts can generate a state of permanent hostility that blocks sexual expression.
The partner, who behaves in a passive-aggressive manner, may block sexual intercourse as punishment or protection from hurt inflicted by the mate. The perceived rejection may lead to loss of interest in sexual communication, which may be complicated by loneliness, anger and lowering of self-esteem in the spouse who feels that basic sexual human needs are deliberately frustrated by the rejecting partner.
Other causes of this resentment may be due to perceived imbalance of duties and responsibilities, including moral, religious and financial issues. This may get complicated when extra-marital affairs set in, which may lead to reduced sexual interest in the estranged spouse and, if the affair is discovered, the innocent spouse may cease to want to be intimate with the offending spouse.
This may manifest as restricted, formal and coarse communication as partners treat each other with contempt. Couples in this situation are definitely in mental distress or already mentally ill, hence they require professional help.
Those deeper feelings of resentment must be uncovered and dealt with as they practise active listening and try to communicate creatively in the process of discovery. You may think you have a right to be resentful of the way you have been treated, and while it might seem natural, resentment creeps into everything you do.
Every time you talk to your spouse, every action you take can be so tainted with this resentment that it becomes a psychological burden. The path to recovery is that you make a conscious effort to do everything for the benefit of both of you, and not just yourself. You must be honest and, without hatred or fear or anger, confront the problem of sexual intimacy together.
The bedroom should be a peaceful and relaxing place by keeping it free of clutter. To bring the spark back, you can go on dates, do fun things together, especially things that ignite mutual passion and excitement.
There is a need for the services of a professional marriage counselor, who will help couples to navigate and elicit hidden resentments and resolve. Such a counsellor will also help to identity faculty communication styles that may have shut down sexual intimacy and suggest new patterns and also appropriately refer those with mental health issues.
A successful marriage requires commitment, effort, compromise and forgiveness. Sexless marriage can impair wholesome development of children in the home because of discordance in communication. In addition, less than 20 per cent of them report having sex a few times per year, or even monthly, under the age 40.
The facility of education and financial empowerment of our modern wives may serve as templates for more conflicts leading to ego-stalemates that may injure sexual intimacy. Our relatively lower rates of divorce, even among our educated couples, compared with the western world, may find compensation in sexless marriages as a manifestation of emotional divorce.
President Bola Tinubu has told members of the All Progressives Congress (APC) Presidential Campaign Council not to expect him to accompany them to every campaign event ahead of the 2027 general election, saying he must remain focused on governance and the country’s economic responsibilities.
Tinubu spoke on Wednesday during the inauguration of the APC Presidential Campaign Council in Abuja, where he urged members to take the party’s message to Nigerians across the states and local government areas while he continues to attend to matters of governance.
The president said he agreed with concerns that the demands of the campaign should not distract him from running the country, adding that Nigeria needs his attention at the moment.
“You’ve warned me not to allow the rigour of the campaign to distract me from governance, I hear you. I am in full agreement with your decision. Nigeria needs more attention now,” Tinubu said.
He told council members to excuse him from accompanying them to every campaign event, noting that his administration has bills to pay and international financial obligations to meet.
“So, you will excuse me from going everywhere with you, we have bills to pay. The American creditors cannot wait,” the President said.
Tinubu also said the government needs to attract investors who would commit to long-term investments in Nigeria and contribute to the future of the country’s children.
“We want those investors to come in, be here to stay, to invest for the future of our children,” he said.
The president, however, assured Nigerians that he would continue to engage them directly even as the campaign council took charge of mobilisation across the country.
“However, I will still make time to speak directly with Nigerians, even as you lead the campaign in the states and local government areas,” he said.
Tinubu described the inauguration of the council as more than a campaign activity, saying it represents a renewed commitment to Nigerians and the responsibilities of the ruling party.
“We have not gathered merely to inaugurate a council. We have gathered to renew a covenant. A covenant with Nigerian people and the historic responsibility they have entrusted to us as Nigeria’s governing party,” he said.
He added that the council is expected to communicate the administration’s vision, achievements and agenda to voters nationwide.
“This council will carry our vision, our records and our agenda to every Nigerian, and it will carry them to victory every ward of this country,” Tinubu said.
The president also commended APC members for completing the party’s congresses, recalling that some had predicted internal crises during the process.
He said the party has overcome the challenges and emerged united, crediting members for participating in the process from the ward level to the national leadership.
“They said there will be implosion. We passed through it. We did not fail. You didn’t let us down. We got here together,” he said.
The All Progressives Congress (APC) has named Nyesom Wike, Minister of the Federal Capital Territory (FCT); Ademola Adeleke, Osun State governor; and Chukwuma Soludo, Anambra State governor, as campaign coordinators in its expanded presidential campaign council for the 2027 general election, despite their affiliations with other political parties.
Wike belongs to the Peoples’ Democratic Party (PDP), Soludo is a member of the All Progressives Grand Alliance (APGA), while Adeleke won re-election as Osun governor in 2026 under the Accord Party.
Under the new arrangement, Wike will coordinate the APC campaign in Rivers State and the FCT, Soludo will oversee Anambra, while Adeleke will coordinate the campaign in Osun.
The expanded list is scheduled for inauguration by President Bola Tinubu at the Presidential Villa in Abuja on Wednesday.
The APC initially released its campaign council list on August 22, naming Abdulaziz Yari, former Zamfara governor, as director-general. Senate President Godswill Akpabio, House of Representatives Speaker Tajudeen Abbas and Yobe Governor Mai Mala Buni were appointed deputy director-generals.
In the revised list, Akpabio, Abbas and Kwara Governor AbdulRahman AbdulRazaq are deputy vice-chairmen I, II and III, respectively, while Buni becomes deputy director-general I for the North.
The council also includes former governors and party chieftains as advisers, which include former APC national chairmen Adebisi Akande and Abdullahi Adamu; former Ogun State Governor Ibikunle Amosun; former Osun State Governor Iyiola Omisore; Senator Ibrahim Dankwambo; Senator George Akume; former Ogun State Governor Segun Osoba; and Wale Edun. Obafemi George is listed as an adviser on media.
The Directorate of Election Planning, Coordination, Monitoring and Mobilisation, established ahead of the 2027 general election, has Faleke as Deputy Director-General, with Stella Okotete and Engr. Abdullahi Garba Ramat serving as Secretary I and Secretary II, respectively. Audu Maikori is also listed as a secretary.
Other members of the directorate include Soares Omotola, Bashir Dabo, Sheriff Mohammed Usman, Jibrin Bancir, Ayoola Peter Olajolo, Abubakar Sadiq Sada and Princess Folasade Ogunbiyi.
The Nigeria Democratic Congress (NDC) presidential candidate, Peter Obi, has questioned how the Federal government’s 30-day petrol price discount would reduce poverty, unemployment, insecurity and inequality in the country.
Obi raised the questions in a statement posted on his X platform on Sunday, describing the initiative as a reactive policy that substitutes political optics for sound economic planning.
He argued that the discount, which he said amounts to less than five per cent of petrol costs, is unlikely to address the wider economic challenges facing Nigerians.
“The announcement by the APC-led Federal government offering a 30-day discount on price of petrol to relieve the acute hardship and hunger caused Nigerians by its unplanned removal of subsidy can only be described as another very reactive and confused approach to governance that is now the culture of the Tinubu government,” he said.
Obi said he had delayed commenting on the policy to allow time to assess its outcome, but maintains that the measure has not demonstrated a sustainable approach to addressing the country’s economic difficulties.
He recalled that President Bola Tinubu removed the petrol subsidy on May 29, 2023, arguing that the decision was taken without adequate consultation or a proper assessment of its likely effects on the economy and the livelihoods of ordinary Nigerians.
According to Obi, the subsidy removal was followed by other policies, including the floating of the Naira and tax reforms, which he argued are being implemented without proper sequencing and coordination.
He also criticised the government’s handling of multiple budgets, arguing that the combined effect of the policies has contributed to inflation and rising costs of goods and services.
Obi attributed what he described as increasing multidimensional poverty, business closures, unemployment, insecurity, widening inequality and youth migration to the economic pressures arising from the policies.
He also said the policies had weakened the general well-being of Nigerians, insisting that the government should assess their impact before introducing temporary relief measures.
The former Anambra State governor called for a detailed and publicly available regulatory impact assessment of government policies, arguing that such an exercise would help identify their effects and guide necessary adjustments.
He said a government committed to sustainable economic growth should engage stakeholders and ordinary citizens in consultations to develop inclusive policies that improve living conditions and expand economic opportunities.
Questioning the objectives of the petrol discount, Obi asked whether it would increase productivity and exports or whether it was intended to determine if the subsidy should be restored.
“Will it reduce poverty, unemployment, insecurity, and inequality? Will it increase productivity and exports? Is it a test to ascertain if subsidy should be restored? Is it another political gambit in the face of threats of electoral loss in the 2027 election?” he asked.
“Too many questions, no answer!” the former Governor of Anambra State added.
