Metro
Treatment of In-Laws Against Widows, Man’s Inhumanity to Man at Its Worst – CBA Foundation
By Ony Kachi
After Mrs kumbaya (name changed to protect her identity) lost her husband at work in 2005, she was accused of killing him. The accusation did not come from her husband’s brothers but his sister, who had earlier lost her own husband. It took the combined hard work of the brothers to get their sister off the back of her fellow widow. They told their sister pointedly that she too could face the same accusation she was levelling against their sister-in-law, since her husband was deceased too.
This real incident underlines one of the greatest puzzles of the twenty-first century: How people who themselves or their mother or children or relatives are victims or could be victims of the dehumanising treatment of widows condone, live with, encourage and perpetuate the horrendous denigration inflicted on widows by their in-laws. The continued existence of this kind of situation of dog eat dog, or rather man’s inhumanity to man, makes one wonder if Aristotle also considered (Nigerian) in-laws when he asserted that man is a rational animal. There is absolutely nothing rational about the dehumanisation widows are subjected to by their in-laws in this clime.
A man, who through marriage has become one with the woman he marries, dies, leaving behind his wife and five children (three boys and two girls – this fact is only being added to show that the gender of the children may not even be a factor in how the widow is treated). Almost immediately his siblings and other blood relatives swoop on whatever assets of his they can lay their hands on. If a family meeting is convened, it is not to discuss the welfare of their late brother’s wife and children, who all bear the family name as part of their extended family. No, that is an agenda item for meetings convened by angels, not in-laws of widows. What in-laws of widows convene family meetings for is to make sure they have not missed out any of the assets their late brother could have had. That is how kind in-laws are to a widow.
If Mrs Kumbaya thought her case was going to be different because her brothers-in-law defended and protected her from their sister, then she apparently may have ascribed angelic virtues to her husband’s brothers. For, as it turned out, that act of defence and protection from their sister was the only kindness the brothers of Mrs Kumbaya’s late husband extended to her. They never helped or asked after her and her children’s welfare after that. Not even when things became so difficult that she could no longer pay her house rent and ended up on the street.
Maybe Mrs Kumbaya should even count herself lucky. Stories abound of widows who had been abused, molested, raped or “shared” by in-laws as part of the property left behind by their late brother. There are stories of widows, falsely accused of killing their husbands, being locked up by in-laws in police cells and the keys thrown into the sea, as it were. What about widows forced to drink the water used to wash the corpse of their husband as proof that they had no hand in their husband’s death. Or the ones forced to spend days and nights in the same room with the corpse of their husband.
Nigeria is not exactly a safe haven for women. What with the prevalence of harmful cultural orientations and practices against the female gender, such as preference of the male child to the female child, female circumcision, FGM (female genital mutilation), forced marriage and denial of inheritance, succession and other rights the male gender takes for granted. Generally, Nigeria is not a friendly environment for women, least of all widows considered to be a highly vulnerable group. In fact, Nigeria is said to be one of the least safe places for women in the world with a survey by the Thomson Reuters Foundation conducted in 2018 ranking Nigeria as the ninth most dangerous country in the world for women.
The dehumanising treatment of widows is part of what the Violence Against Persons (Prohibition) Act, passed in 2015, was intended to stop. The Act, more commonly referred to as the VAPP Act or law,
categorises emotional, verbal and psychological abuse as offences and is considered by many legal experts and advocacy groups to be a comprehensive tool for addressing all forms of violence and abuse against all persons. The law seeks to do so by providing maximum protection from violence of various forms against all persons irrespective of tribe, socio-economic class, religion and gender and offering effective remedies (financial compensation) for victims of violence and appropriate punishment (globally acceptable deterrents) for offenders.
It is not known how much of the general population, including in-laws who routinely dehumanise widows, is aware of the VAPP law. While ignorance of the law offers no excuse in a court of law, it is imperative that more enlightenment be created on the existence of the VAPP Act and all its provisions against many of the inimical practices that in-laws perpetrate against widows in the name of culture. Maybe, just maybe, some in-laws, who are themselves uncomfortable with those practices but take part because of family and community pressure, could be emboldened by knowledge of the Act to become advocates and campaigners against such practices.
Back to Mrs Kumbaya, for those concerned about her and what must have happened to her after she ended up on the street. They can heave a sigh of relief that the good Lord sent his angel in the form of the Chinwe Bode-Akinwande Foundation (CBA Foundation) and they took her off the street. Mrs Kumbaya now lives in an apartment rented for her by the Foundation, which also supplied her a mattress, other household items and food stuff.
The CBA Foundation, founded in 2015, the same year the VAPP Act was enacted, is a strong advocate for the enforcement of the Act. Along other civil society groups, it is pushing for the domestication of the Act in states of the federation that are yet to enact a similar act. Rigorous enforcement of the VAPP law across the federation will undoubtedly accelerate the mission of the Foundation, which is to promote “the protection of [underprivileged] widows and their vulnerable children in Nigeria, to promote immediate and lasting hope, confidence and courage in their lives.” The Foundation pursues its mission under its 5-point agenda of women empowerment/capacity building, health intervention, nutrition, quality basic education and a self-employment scheme.
This piece is not intended to demonise in-laws. The writer is himself an in-law by multiples. It is to call for a change of heart and attitude in society, particularly among in-laws, towards widows, knowing that we, our mothers, daughters, neighbours, friends are or could become widows. In-laws should join public-spirited people across the country in supporting the CBA Foundation in its advocacy for enforcement of the VAPP law and in providing succour for underprivileged widows and their vulnerable children.
There are many Mrs Kumbayas out there but the resources and reach of angels such as CBA Foundation are limited. Men and women of goodwill, including in-laws who have now seen the light, can extend the Foundation’s resources and reach by supporting it in its mission. Contact the Foundation today by sending an email to them at: cbafoundationng@gmail.com.
President Bola Tinubuhas directed close monitoring of the ongoing anti-foreigner protests in South Africa, as the Federal government raises concerns over the safety of Nigerians and demands justice for victims of recent incidents.
The Minister of Foreign Affairs, Bianca Odumegwu-Ojukwu, disclosed this while presenting a situation report, noting that authorities are on alert ahead of another round of demonstrations scheduled for 4 to 8 May.
“There is heightened anxiety over the series of anti-foreigner protests. The priority at this time remains the safety of our citizens,” she said, adding that the President’s directive underscores Nigeria’s resolve to prevent further harm to its nationals.
Odumegwu-Ojukwu said images circulating across media platforms showing violence and xenophobic rhetoric have drawn global condemnation, describing the trend as “utterly condemnable and unacceptable.”
She, however, acknowledged that top South African officials, including President Cyril Ramaphosa, have publicly opposed xenophobia, extra-judicial killings and destruction of foreign-owned properties.
According to her, protests held between 27 and 29 April in Pretoria and Johannesburg were largely peaceful under heavy police presence, with no confirmed attacks on Nigerians during that period.
Despite this, she revealed that two Nigerians died earlier in separate incidents involving security personnel. Amamiro Chidiebere Emmanuel succumbed to injuries allegedly sustained after being beaten by members of the South African National Defence Force in Port Elizabeth, while Nnaemeka Matthew Andrew was reported dead following an encounter with metro police, with his body later found in a Pretoria mortuary.
“These incidents are utterly condemnable and unacceptable. Nigeria demands that justice be done,” the minister stated, noting that the Nigerian High Commission is closely tracking investigations.
She further confirmed that Nigeria has summoned South Africa’s High Commissioner in Abuja over the situation, as diplomatic engagements intensify to contain the fallout.
Odumegwu-Ojukwu added that Nigerian missions in South Africa are working with local authorities to minimise risks to citizens, while arrangements are ongoing for the voluntary repatriation of those willing to return home. About 130 Nigerians have so far registered for the exercise.
She also stressed Nigeria’s historical role in supporting South Africa’s liberation struggle, warning that recurring xenophobic attacks, often linked to political tensions, must be decisively addressed.
“Nigerian lives and businesses in South Africa must not continue to be put at risk,” she said, adding that both countries are engaging through existing frameworks, including an early warning mechanism, to prevent further escalation.
By Tolulope A. Adegoke
“The destiny of Africa will not be determined by the strength of its resources, but by the quality of its leadership — leaders who see beyond personal power to build a continent where every African can rise, contribute, and thrive on the global stage.” — Tolulope A. Adegoke, PhD
Leadership in Africa is not merely about occupying high office; it is a sacred responsibility to restore dignity, unlock potential, and chart a bold path toward collective prosperity. For decades, the continent has been burdened by narratives of poverty, conflict, and dependency. Yet, a new generation of visionary, ethical, and courageous leaders is rising — men and women who understand that Africa’s greatest wealth lies in its people, its diverse cultures, and its untapped potential. True African leadership must be transformative, inclusive, and globally oriented, focused on building resilient institutions, empowered citizens, and a competitive continent that contributes meaningfully to humanity’s progress.
The Imperative of Transformative Leadership
At its best, African leadership is defined by a deep sense of purpose and ownership. It rejects the politics of survival and embraces the politics of vision. Transformative leaders prioritize human capital development as the foundation of progress. They invest heavily in quality education, healthcare, skills acquisition, and entrepreneurship, recognizing that a skilled, healthy, and empowered population is the ultimate driver of sustainable development.
A shining example is Rwanda under President Paul Kagame. In the aftermath of the 1994 genocide, Rwanda transformed from a failed state into one of Africa’s fastest-growing economies through deliberate investments in education, technology, and women’s empowerment. Today, Rwanda boasts one of the highest rates of female parliamentary representation in the world and has become a hub for digital innovation and entrepreneurship in East Africa.
Such leadership is also rooted in integrity and accountability. Corruption and weak institutions have long hindered Africa’s advancement. Leaders who model transparency, uphold the rule of law, and place national and continental interests above personal gain build the trust necessary for long-term transformation. Botswana stands as a classic case. Since independence, successive leaders have managed diamond revenues with remarkable prudence, establishing strong anti-corruption institutions and consistent fiscal discipline, resulting in one of Africa’s highest per capita incomes and stable democratic governance.
Visionary leadership in Africa further demands economic diversification and innovation. Moving away from over-reliance on raw commodity exports, forward-thinking leaders champion industrialization, technology adoption, renewable energy, and the creative industries. Kenya’s “Silicon Savannah” in Nairobi, driven by deliberate government policies supporting fintech and digital startups, has produced globally recognized companies like M-Pesa, which revolutionized mobile money and financial inclusion across Africa. Similarly, Morocco has successfully diversified its economy through investments in automotive manufacturing, aerospace, and renewable energy, positioning itself as a major industrial player on the continent.
Building Africa Through Unity and Integration
No African nation can achieve greatness in isolation. The most effective leaders champion Pan-Africanism and regional integration. They actively support frameworks like the African Continental Free Trade Area (AfCFTA), which promises to create the world’s largest single market. They strengthen Regional Economic Communities (RECs) such as ECOWAS, EAC, and SADC as building blocks for a stronger African Union. By harmonizing policies, reducing trade barriers, and investing in cross-border infrastructure, these leaders turn geographic proximity into economic power and shared prosperity.
Leadership that builds Africa also invests in peace and security. Persistent conflicts continue to destroy lives and opportunities. Progressive leaders prioritize conflict prevention, mediation, and post-conflict reconstruction. They strengthen institutions like the African Peace and Security Architecture (APSA) and promote African solutions to African problems, reducing harmful dependence on external actors. Ghana’s consistent contribution to regional peacekeeping missions and its stable democratic transitions under leaders like Jerry Rawlings and John Kufuor demonstrate how committed leadership can anchor stability in turbulent times.
Developing Africans Globally
Great African leadership extends beyond national borders. It nurtures a new generation of globally competitive Africans — professionals, entrepreneurs, scientists, diplomats, and creatives who carry African excellence to every corner of the world. This requires deliberate investment in education systems that emphasize critical thinking, creativity, digital literacy, and global competence. It means creating policies that engage the African diaspora, encouraging them to invest their skills, capital, and networks back home through structured programmes.
Leaders who build Africans globally also reshape narratives. They counter negative stereotypes by promoting stories of African innovation, resilience, cultural richness, and intellectual contribution. Nigeria’s booming Nollywood industry and its vibrant tech ecosystem (with hubs in Lagos and Abuja) have projected a dynamic image of African creativity and entrepreneurship to the world. Similarly, South Africa’s leadership in fields like biotechnology and renewable energy showcases the continent’s capacity for scientific excellence.
The Leadership Imperative in a Changing World
Africa faces significant challenges — poverty, infrastructure deficits, youth unemployment, climate vulnerability, and governance gaps. However, these are not insurmountable. The leadership Africa needs today must be courageous enough to make difficult decisions, inclusive enough to empower women, youth, and marginalized groups, and ethical enough to reject patronage and short-termism. It must balance national sovereignty with continental solidarity, and local realities with global opportunities.
A Call to Action
The future of Africa will not be written by external forces. It will be authored by Africans themselves — guided by leaders who understand that leadership is ultimately a trust to serve, uplift, and build. The continent does not lack potential. What it needs is consistent, visionary, and accountable leadership at every level — from village heads to heads of state, from the classroom to the boardroom.
When leadership rises to this calling, Africa will not only build itself but will also offer the world new models of resilience, innovation, and inclusive growth. The time has come for a new covenant between African leaders and their people — a covenant rooted in trust, service, and shared destiny.
Africa’s story is still being written. With the right leadership, it can become one of triumph, dignity, and global excellence. The question is not whether Africa can rise — but whether its leaders will summon the will, wisdom, and courage to make that rise unstoppable.
Dr. Tolulope A. Adegoke, AMBP-UN is a globally recognized scholar-practitioner and thought leader at the nexus of security, governance, and strategic leadership. His mission is dedicated to advancing ethical governance, strategic human capital development, resilient nation building, and global peace. He can be reached via: tolulopeadegoke01@gmail.com, globalstageimpacts@gmail.com
In pursuance of its goal to affect humanity, foremost not-for-profit health organization, Sickle Cell Advocacy and Management Initiative (SAMI) has held its 2026 Volunteer Retreat and Awards Ceremony geared towards spotlighting the values of sustained purpose, service, compassion, sacrifice, and discipline.
The ceremony, held in Lagos on Saturday 25th April 2026, brought together a remarkable corps of volunteers whose quiet, consistent efforts have shaped lives in ways statistics often fail to capture. It also created the perfect space for reflection while boldly charting the path forward for the sickle cell NGO founded by nonprofit leader, Toyin Adesola in 2008.
During the event, a 10million naira crowdfunding campaign tagged #1kforSickle to encourage Nigerians to give a minimum of ₦1,000 to support the organization’s effort was launched. Also, 11 award categories were presented to capture the impact of individuals from various spheres of influence who have supported SAMI over the years. These include haematologists, medical doctors, nurses, laboratory scientists, educators, entrepreneurs, IT experts, media executives, and emerging young professionals in different sectors.
The event had 4 top speakers including polymath and Founder of Immerse Coaching Company, Debola Deji Kurunmi; clinical psychologist, Sheriff Ajibola Moshobalaje; leadership expert, Director Oluwatoyin Banjo; and co-founder of 9ijakids, Mrs. Titi Adewusi, to forge the awareness of a greater responsibility for impact to the sickle cell community and humanity at large.
Delivering one of the most compelling sessions of the Retreat, Debola Deji-Kurunmi challenged the volunteers to rethink their personal growth as a fundamental aspect of their influence to SAMI, family, and community. Deploying the five empires of self-leadership, she emphasized the need for self-mastery, self-direction, self-drive, self-influence, and self-expansion. “It is when you lead yourself well that you can serve others better and advance the mission” she asserted.
Noting that “SAMI is moving forward from being a founder-led NGO to a legacy-led institution”, the highly sought corporate trainer fondly called DDK, encouraged the volunteers to move from consumer mindset to creator mindset, bring forward their original ideas, make more suggestions, and become more solution-oriented.
From a psychological standpoint, Mr. Sheriff Ajibola Moshobalaje brought a refreshing depth to the conversation, focusing on the inner life of a volunteer. His session provided a vital reminder that emotional balance, life satisfaction, and a sense of purpose and fulfillment are hallmarks of a successful life.
He addressed the emotional impact as well as the toll that social media could play on mental health, advocating for self-awareness and introspection as critical components for mental resilience and sustainable impact. He highlighted that a state of positive mental health will encompass “emotional, psychological, and social well-being that focuses on how we feel, how we function, and the knowledge that we are separate from our problems.”
Speaking to the heart of volunteering, Mrs. Titi Adewusi delivered a powerful message focused on Why Team Spirit Matters to Building Trust and Credibility for a Nonprofit. Drawing largely from real stories, she challenged the volunteers to see their opportunities to serve the SAMI mission not only when they show up physically but in everything. Her insights served as a rallying call for volunteers, even as she officially launched the #1kforSickle crowdfunding campaign.
In a stirring address on leadership and influence, Director Toyin Banjo underscored the responsibility that comes with the privilege of leading within volunteer ecosystems. She centered her discussion on the 8 Pillars of M.O.B.I.L.I.Z.E. which are the principles of “motivate with meaning, orient and onboard, build belonging, invest in them, lead by example, inspire through impact, zoom in on zeal, and empower and entrust.” Her remarks provided a unique perspective into volunteering and urged leadership of the nonprofit to renew their commitment to continually pour into the development of its most valuable human resource team.
The Communication Officer of the health nonprofit, Abayomi Oyelami noted that the SAMI Volunteer Retreat & Awards Ceremony was to “honour the passion, sacrifice, and invisible work shaping lives in the sickle cell community, as well as to be a space for growth, learning, and renewed purpose.”
He indicated that Nigerians who wish to donate to the ongoing #1kforSickle campaign can donate via: A/c name: SAMI 500 by 1M Campaign, GTB – 0208883097 or use the online channels found on the official promotional materials.
The SAMI Volunteer Retreat and Awards Ceremony drew to a close with a collective call for volunteers to awaken to a higher order of service, where compassion and goodwill is matched with skill and excellence.
