By Henry Ukazu

Dear Destiny Friends,

According to some schools of thought, the people one relates with have a greater influence on them, negatively or positively. These schools of thought strongly believe that one’s environment also has a proportional influence in their life.

There’s no gain-saying the fact that in life, association really matters. For instance, if you have nine millionaire friends, it’s more likely you will become the tenth millionaire if you are able to cultivate the right ethics, principles, values and more importantly, the right mindset. This is because making money, managing money, and growing money are three distinct skills one needs to cultivate because no one can attain lasting wealth until they are able to master all three, and to master them, everyone must understand how to relate and associate with the right people.

So, if you have a shrewd friend, who is good at making genuine money, it will also be great to have a friend who is quite good at managing money and growing money. I say this because one may be good at making money, but not so good at managing or growing it in the form of investments. That’s why in one of my teachings on ‘Money in Marriage”, I stated three cardinal rules: Whose money; who provides; and who manages.

Permit me to elaborate on these three fundamental principles. If you are married, please pay attention to what I am about to say. On whose money; as Christians, we are taught that when a man marries a woman, they are joined as one. So, I strongly believe when it comes to money in marriage, it’s not his money or her money, it’s our money. That line must be established because they are now one.

I understand this may not be convenient for everyone, especially ladies, but if couples are genuinely intentional in their marriage, they will know this is the gospel truth. If I may ask, why is it normal for a woman to spend her husband’s money, and it appears odd when a man spends his wife’s money. know that whatever is good for the goose is also good for the gander. Or did it change because of marriage?

Secondly, on who provides; it doesn’t really matter if the woman makes a billion dollars per second, but as the head of the family it’s the duty of the man to provide. Again, I understand there may be dynamics, but the facts must be established despite the associated variables. As a tip for ladies, no matter how much a lady makes, there’s this feeling of sweetness a lady normally experience whenever she spends her husband’s money, however, that analysis is not applicable to men.

Finally on money in marriage, who manages. Again, I care less about who provides, the best manager ought to manage the family’s money. So, if he makes the money but is bad at management, the wife ought to step in, and if the woman makes the money and she’s bad at management, the man ought to step in, and do the needful.

Speaking from experience, I have seen many marriages crash just because of financial mismanagement. Money matter is a serious issue that ought to be discussed before marriage, and even while in marriage to avoid springing surprises and stories that touch the heart.

Though this article is not about marriage, I also thought it nice to elaborate the role of choosing the right partner, and prove that right association really matters, especially as it relates to marriage and business. So imagine a case where an extravagant man meets a prudent lady and vice versa.

The importance of association cannot be overemphasized. In any sphere of life, whether at work, school, family, church or politics, association plays a big role. Anyone who lacks personal relationship with his fellow human beings will surely pay for it in one way or another. This is because relationships are currency. According to Robin Sharma, “the business of business is relationship, but the business of life is human connection”. This goes to show that we cannot do much in life if we don’t have the right relationship.

Even God the creator of heaven and earth, had to send this only begotten son to come in the form of a human being to die for mankind, and he did it by using the Blessed Virgin Mary. That explains that if God wants to bless a man, he sends a “man” and if the devil man wants to destroy a man, he uses a “man”. Both work in human flesh.

In my little experience of life, I have understood the importance of strategic relationships. I know for a fact, human beings are vessels of blessings and the ability to nurture human relationships is a very important skill anyone needs to learn if one intends to go far.

Most of the opportunities I have attained in life were simply because I not only understood the language of my benefactor, but also, I know how to strategically relate with them.

Furthermore, in life, one may be brilliant, skillful and confident, but if one lacks a good attitude especially as it relates to human beings, he might lose potential opportunities to people with lesser academic qualifications, who know how to relate well with people especially with a good attitude.

Again, despite one being talented with amazing gifts and skills, there’s a tendency of other people surpassing them with similar qualities and skills, so your ability to be humble to know you are not better than anyone is enough to make you learn from them.

On a personal note, as a sapiosexual, I try to associate with people better than me. I don’t care if I’m older than you or your superior in one form or another, provided I can learn from you, I will always stoop to conquer.

In another scenario, some people may not be particularly brilliant and perhaps like you, some would wish they were half as blessed as you are.  One thing certain, wherever you may belong, between these two extremes, resolve today to state associating with those who are better than you, if for instance you are afflicted with self-doubt, avoid Brother Thomas, instead visit and cultivate Father Abraham the grand patriarch of the faith family.

I once took time to study great people with great businesses, and one thing I discovered is that they know how to hunt people with specialized knowledge, and also, they know how to delegate jobs to smarter people with skills, or talents while they focus on other more important strategic engagements.

Association entails more than meeting people in-person. With the invention of technology, association and relationships have really gone global. Online is now seen as the fifth estate of learning. A lot of people have gained opportunities just by commenting right on social media, while some people have lost opportunities by commenting wrong on social media.

Still on social media, a creative mind with a purpose must be intentional in following people, organizations and causes they are passionate about; the algorithm has a way of aligning people with what they see, like, and comment, and in some cases the algorithm has a way of bringing people it feels one needs to connect with based on the mutual friends or causes they share together.

Here is the deal, as you journey through life, be intentional to appreciate what you have and always make it a point of duty to associate with people who are better than you in what you do or intend to do.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com