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Food for Living: Associating with the Right People Matters
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
According to some schools of thought, the people one relates with have a greater influence on them, negatively or positively. These schools of thought strongly believe that one’s environment also has a proportional influence in their life.
There’s no gain-saying the fact that in life, association really matters. For instance, if you have nine millionaire friends, it’s more likely you will become the tenth millionaire if you are able to cultivate the right ethics, principles, values and more importantly, the right mindset. This is because making money, managing money, and growing money are three distinct skills one needs to cultivate because no one can attain lasting wealth until they are able to master all three, and to master them, everyone must understand how to relate and associate with the right people.
So, if you have a shrewd friend, who is good at making genuine money, it will also be great to have a friend who is quite good at managing money and growing money. I say this because one may be good at making money, but not so good at managing or growing it in the form of investments. That’s why in one of my teachings on ‘Money in Marriage”, I stated three cardinal rules: Whose money; who provides; and who manages.
Permit me to elaborate on these three fundamental principles. If you are married, please pay attention to what I am about to say. On whose money; as Christians, we are taught that when a man marries a woman, they are joined as one. So, I strongly believe when it comes to money in marriage, it’s not his money or her money, it’s our money. That line must be established because they are now one.
I understand this may not be convenient for everyone, especially ladies, but if couples are genuinely intentional in their marriage, they will know this is the gospel truth. If I may ask, why is it normal for a woman to spend her husband’s money, and it appears odd when a man spends his wife’s money. know that whatever is good for the goose is also good for the gander. Or did it change because of marriage?
Secondly, on who provides; it doesn’t really matter if the woman makes a billion dollars per second, but as the head of the family it’s the duty of the man to provide. Again, I understand there may be dynamics, but the facts must be established despite the associated variables. As a tip for ladies, no matter how much a lady makes, there’s this feeling of sweetness a lady normally experience whenever she spends her husband’s money, however, that analysis is not applicable to men.
Finally on money in marriage, who manages. Again, I care less about who provides, the best manager ought to manage the family’s money. So, if he makes the money but is bad at management, the wife ought to step in, and if the woman makes the money and she’s bad at management, the man ought to step in, and do the needful.
Speaking from experience, I have seen many marriages crash just because of financial mismanagement. Money matter is a serious issue that ought to be discussed before marriage, and even while in marriage to avoid springing surprises and stories that touch the heart.
Though this article is not about marriage, I also thought it nice to elaborate the role of choosing the right partner, and prove that right association really matters, especially as it relates to marriage and business. So imagine a case where an extravagant man meets a prudent lady and vice versa.
The importance of association cannot be overemphasized. In any sphere of life, whether at work, school, family, church or politics, association plays a big role. Anyone who lacks personal relationship with his fellow human beings will surely pay for it in one way or another. This is because relationships are currency. According to Robin Sharma, “the business of business is relationship, but the business of life is human connection”. This goes to show that we cannot do much in life if we don’t have the right relationship.
Even God the creator of heaven and earth, had to send this only begotten son to come in the form of a human being to die for mankind, and he did it by using the Blessed Virgin Mary. That explains that if God wants to bless a man, he sends a “man” and if the devil man wants to destroy a man, he uses a “man”. Both work in human flesh.
In my little experience of life, I have understood the importance of strategic relationships. I know for a fact, human beings are vessels of blessings and the ability to nurture human relationships is a very important skill anyone needs to learn if one intends to go far.
Most of the opportunities I have attained in life were simply because I not only understood the language of my benefactor, but also, I know how to strategically relate with them.
Furthermore, in life, one may be brilliant, skillful and confident, but if one lacks a good attitude especially as it relates to human beings, he might lose potential opportunities to people with lesser academic qualifications, who know how to relate well with people especially with a good attitude.
Again, despite one being talented with amazing gifts and skills, there’s a tendency of other people surpassing them with similar qualities and skills, so your ability to be humble to know you are not better than anyone is enough to make you learn from them.
On a personal note, as a sapiosexual, I try to associate with people better than me. I don’t care if I’m older than you or your superior in one form or another, provided I can learn from you, I will always stoop to conquer.
In another scenario, some people may not be particularly brilliant and perhaps like you, some would wish they were half as blessed as you are. One thing certain, wherever you may belong, between these two extremes, resolve today to state associating with those who are better than you, if for instance you are afflicted with self-doubt, avoid Brother Thomas, instead visit and cultivate Father Abraham the grand patriarch of the faith family.
I once took time to study great people with great businesses, and one thing I discovered is that they know how to hunt people with specialized knowledge, and also, they know how to delegate jobs to smarter people with skills, or talents while they focus on other more important strategic engagements.
Association entails more than meeting people in-person. With the invention of technology, association and relationships have really gone global. Online is now seen as the fifth estate of learning. A lot of people have gained opportunities just by commenting right on social media, while some people have lost opportunities by commenting wrong on social media.
Still on social media, a creative mind with a purpose must be intentional in following people, organizations and causes they are passionate about; the algorithm has a way of aligning people with what they see, like, and comment, and in some cases the algorithm has a way of bringing people it feels one needs to connect with based on the mutual friends or causes they share together.
Here is the deal, as you journey through life, be intentional to appreciate what you have and always make it a point of duty to associate with people who are better than you in what you do or intend to do.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
News
‘He Died a Natural Death’ – Katsina Govt Announces Death of Gen Rabe Abubakar in Kidnappers’ Captivity
A Retired Major-General and former Director of Defence Information, Rabe Abubakar, is dead.
According to the Katsina state government, Abubakar died in bandits’ captivity.
The retired major-general and his wife were abducted in May while travelling through Katsina.
On June 6, a video showing Abubakar and his wife appealing to the Katsina government for the release of detained bandits and livestock surfaced online.
A statement on Saturday by Nasiru Mu’azu, commissioner for internal security and home affairs, said Abubakar died from complications of diabetes and hypertension.
“It is with profound sadness that we confirm the General’s death while in bandits’ captivity,” the statement reads.
“Despite the relentless and concerted efforts of the State Government and various Security Agencies to secure his safe release, the situation ended in this tragedy.
“The deceased Retired General died a natural death from complications of diabetes and hypertension.
“His abduction and subsequent death are not only a loss to his family and Katsina State but a monumental loss to the entire country.
“His Excellency, the Executive Governor of Katsina State Malam Dikko Umaru Radda, PhD, CON, extends his deepest condolences to the family of the late General and the country at-large.
“The Governor has described this incident as a “dark moment” and a reminder of the urgent need for a collective and intensified front against the criminal elements threatening the peace of our communities.”
The Katsina government added that it remains committed to working with the federal government and security forces to ensure that those responsible for the heinous act are brought to justice.
“We assure the citizens of Katsina State that our resolve to eliminate banditry and ensure the safety of all residents remains unshaken,” the statement added.
“Our thoughts and prayers are with the bereaved family during this difficult time. May the soul of the departed Retired Major General Rabe Abdulakdir rest in eternal peace.”
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
The power in a name, or inspiration and influence they come with, when properly triggered and applied, cannot be overestimated. Influence and name are powerful, and run pari passu. This is because in the journey of life, there are certain heights one can’t attain even with their resources. And that’s where ‘names’ and influence come in.
One might have all the grades, skills, and knowledge, but getting an opportunity might be difficult. Imagine having a good grade in school, but can’t find a commensurate job. As a matter of fact, someone with less qualification and experience might get the job simply because a man of influence endorsed their candidacy. That’s why the saying; ‘a good name is better than riches’ is tantamount to a man with access to power is more influential than a man with knowledge but no access.
For one to succeed in our contemporary society, they need a helper who could either be a mentor, benefactor, an inspiration, or someone with influence, or all in one. All these refer to one thing – name. Names are powerful and open doors. A name can serve as an inspiration which can open doors of opportunity for anyone. I remember the day one of my mentors said to me that for his name to be on my resumè, I must earn it. That’s how powerful names can be.
To further buttress how powerful a name can be, let’s consider the following – In 2018, as a budding author, I reached out to one of my mentors, Chief Dele Momodu to give me a column to write in his online newspaper which is considered one of the biggest, if not the biggest online newspaper in Nigeria. He graciously agreed, advising me to be consistent.
Guess what, since that date, I haven’t missed a week. One may be wondering how I have been consistent,; well the answer is not far fetched, I couldn’t imagine failing Chief Dele Momodu. I couldn’t imagine producing articles that are below standard. In all sincerity, assuming someone else without a big name gave me the opportunity, maybe, I wouldn’t have taken it very seriously like I did for Chief Dele Momodu. This goes to tell you names are powerful.
Can you imagine working for the President of the United States of America or Elon Musk? One will almost be perfect. The same energy and detailed attention one pays to President Trump or Elon Musk will be different if given an opportunity to work for an elected council man or a businessman. This is because one would not like to risk a lifetime opportunity to serve with a man of influence.
The importance of inspiration in the life of a progressive man cannot be overemphasized. Everyone needs inspiration. Inspiration can come from various angles. It can be from a benefactor, mentor, teacher, parent, friend, a Minister of the gospel, or even one’s child.
Let me share a personal experience I had with another of my mentors – Dr. Joe Abah. In 2025, he organized #fitseptember physical exercise where he advised his followers to do a 30 push for the month of September. Again, in January, he organized #fitjanuary and I actively participated in it, and since then I haven’t missed one single day without exercising for at least ten minutes. Why is this analysis important? The name Dr. Joe Abah is a household name in Nigeria social-political space. Assuming it was a regular person who made the announcement on X, the comment wouldn’t have attracted the kind of attention that made it go viral.
Furthermore, it is worthy of note that there are five kinds of authority when it comes to principle of power in a name. They are; Revealed knowledge, empirical knowledge, rational knowledge, intuitive knowledge and authoritative knowledge. The focus here is on authoritative knowledge.
One may be wondering what authoritative knowledge is. This is a kind of knowledge reserved for those who have expertise on a particular issue or subject matter expert. When such a person speaks, their words are like law.
Let’s talk about men of influence. Men of influence are priceless. According to Apostle Joshua Selman, there are four kinds of destiny helpers: Divine Connectors, Men of Influence, Gifted People, and Burden Bearers. For the sake of this article, I will focus on men of influence. These are gatekeepers, mentors, or established experts with high credibility. Their endorsement or advocacy can override limitations, grant you access to closed doors, and elevate your trajectory.
In summary, honor men, but fear God because men are vessels God uses to bless people and humanity.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
The Senate, on Thursday, directed the Department of State Services (DSS), the Nigeria Police Force and other security agencies to intensify efforts to track, identify and arrest bandits and terrorists, who openly flaunt their activities and wealth on social media platforms.
The upper chamber said the growing trend of criminal groups operating openly online and displaying proceeds of crime without fear of arrest poses a serious threat to national security and undermines public confidence in the authority of the State.
The resolution followed a debate on a motion sponsored by Senator Sunday Karimi (Kogi West) on the worsening security situation in Kogi West Senatorial District and other parts of the country.
Contributing to the debate, Senator Natasha Akpoti-Uduaghan (Kogi Central) expressed concern over what she described as the increasing boldness of bandits and terrorists, alleging that some criminal groups now use social media platforms to showcase their operations and distribute large sums of money.
According to her, suspected bandits recently conducted a giveaway on TikTok, allegedly distributing more than N100 million within 30 minutes through their social media accounts.
She argued that such activities provide security agencies with sufficient digital footprints and intelligence leads to identify and apprehend the perpetrators.
“Bandits and terrorists who carry out these activities live on their social media handles,” Akpoti-Uduaghan said.
“Two days ago on TikTok, bandits conducted a giveaway, distributing over N100 million within the space of 30 minutes through their social media handles.
“I wonder why the Cybercrime Unit and the Police Force generally cannot track these activities and apprehend them since they are on social media.”
Her proposal that the Nigerian Police Force National Cybercrime Centre and other relevant agencies should intensify surveillance of social media platforms and prosecute criminals who openly advertise their activities online received overwhelming support from lawmakers and was seconded by Senator Osita Ngwu (Enugu West).
Responding, Senate President Godswill Akpabio condemned the public display of criminal exploits and huge sums of money on social media, describing it as a direct challenge to the authority of government and security institutions.
“The DSS should be able to track their movements and arrest them because this is a show of impunity, as if there is no law at all,” Akpabio said.
He noted that the online display of cash and criminal activities was designed to ridicule government efforts and create the impression that security agencies were powerless.
“I do not see why we should not have control over the social media space. That idea of showing themselves, showing the cash collected and displaying it is a way of challenging government,” he added.
Akpabio urged heads of security agencies to treat the issue as a major national security concern and take immediate action against those involved.
He further warned that the Senate would demand explanations from relevant authorities whenever individuals who openly reveal their identities and activities online are not apprehended.
The debate arose from Senator Karimi’s motion drawing attention to the escalating wave of terrorist attacks, kidnappings and killings across communities in Kogi West Senatorial District.
Karimi lamented that armed groups had turned several communities into theatres of violence, forcing residents to flee their homes while disrupting economic, social and educational activities.
He cited the recent attack on Iluke-Bunu in Kabba/Bunu Local Government Area, where gunmen reportedly invaded a secondary school and attempted to abduct students writing the Senior Secondary School Certificate Examination.
According to him, the attack claimed the lives of the school’s vice principal, a teacher and another resident.
The senator also recounted a series of kidnappings and killings across Kabba/Bunu, Ijumu, Yagba West, Lokoja and Kogi local government areas, warning that insecurity in the district was worsening and required urgent intervention.
Following deliberations, the Senate adopted a series of resolutions aimed at tackling the deteriorating security situation across the country.
The lawmakers called on President Bola Tinubu, the Inspector-General of Police and the National Assembly to urgently work towards establishing an appropriate legal framework for the creation of state police.
The Senate also urged the Federal government and the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) to strengthen the implementation of cashless transaction policies as part of efforts to curb ransom payments and other criminal financial activities.
It further called on the Federal Ministry of Interior and the Nigerian Immigration Service to tighten border security and surveillance to stem the influx of arms and the movement of terrorists and other criminal elements into the country.
The upper chamber equally advised State governments against negotiating or entering peace agreements with terrorists and armed bandits, maintaining that such arrangements have often failed to produce lasting solutions and, in some cases, emboldened criminal groups.
