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Food for Living: Learning from the Experiences of Life
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
A wise man learns from his mistakes, a wiser name learns from other people’s mistakes – John Maxwell
As a progressive mind, one will continuously learn to improve himself. The only time we stop learning in life is when we give up the ghost. It is worthy of note that one of the beauties of learning is that it opens new layers and doors of opportunities, and comes with lessons, which in turn comes with experience, that makes one mature.
One of the sad realities of life however, is that we don’t want to die, but we want to go to heaven, and so do some people would like to succeed without making mistakes. They fail to understand that mistakes are part of life.
It’s instructive to note that when you are making mistakes, you are learning something new. I understand some people are perfectionists; they like to do things in certain ways, even if they can’t get it right hundred percent. I have news for such people; the best they can get is near perfection. Nobody’s life is perfect, except the creator of heaven and earth.
In the journey of life, everyone of us will surely experience life in one way or another. For instance, lessons and experience come to us via our career, marriage, academics, business, personal and even spiritual. Whenever life teaches you an experience, the best way to live through it is by seeing it as an experience. By doing so, you will be learning from it.
The mistake most people make is sulking whenever they have adversaries. Adversaries are not bad as some people see it. Sometimes they help to prevent bigger calamities from hurting you.
The lessons and experiences of life come to us in several ways. But one of the worst things that happen to anyone is to live in regret. Whenever you have made a mistake or life has taught you a strong lesson, don’t dwell on it for so long. What’s important is to learn from the experience and move on.
As a Human Capacity coach, I have had so many experiences relating with different people both younger and older people, and some of these people have one thing in common; mistakes. They recount the wrong choice and decisions they made many years ago, and it either hindered their growth or made them lose opportunities.
Let’s talk about the missed opportunities for a minute – sometimes, we meet influential people in the society or people who can assist us to get to our destination, but due to poverty mentality, bad attitude, not knowing what they want, or their inability to manage friendship and relationship, they fail to tap into the opportunities.
On a personal note, many people have reached out to me via emails, calls, messages, etc. to mentor them. The request has been so much for me to manage to the extent I have lost count. I decided to use my birthday to officially launch my free mentorship program for interested persons.
I had to put up a post during my birthday last week on all my social media requesting interested persons to state reasons they would love to be selected and mentored by me, so they will know the seriousness of what they are requesting and my time. Unfortunately, no single person reached out to me except via my WhatsApp where one person reached out. Though a friend reached out via Facebook messenger, I advised him to state his reasons via Facebook, but I’m yet to see it.
The moral here is that most of these young persons have lost valuable opportunities to learn and grow. Most of them are fine with asking for resources as opposed to learning how to fish. Well, that’s one of the lessons and experiences they will learn in life. This experience is not only applicable to young people, it has happened to older people, who have lost opportunities because of their positions on certain issues either online or in-person, lack of gratitude and appreciation, inability to build and manage valuable and strategic relationships.
Life has so many dynamic perspectives. To fully appreciate life, one must have the right mindset, understanding of life principles and skills of life. This is because principles are universal and don’t change, but methods do change.
According to Kenny Rogers, in his hittrack “the gambler” “One must know how to hold them, when to fold them, when to walk away and know when to run”. I believe Kenny Rogers must have experienced life in so many ways and learnt many lessons to release this hit track that’s filled with practical wisdom. So, the ability to understand how time changes and adapt to situations will help one to adjust to life because such is life.
Some of the practical life lessons and experience one will need to know as one move along life is that money will not solve all your problems. No matter how much one has, one will still need human beings because there are certain things money can’t buy or do for you regardless of the narrative out there about money. Sometimes, you need people because nobody can live and do life alone.
For instance, money can make you have friends who can make you laugh, money can buy you nice bed, but it can’t give you sleep or peace of mind; money can buy you a nice home, a luxury car, provide you security, but it cannot fix a broken relationship, or cure loneliness. The “happiness” money brings is only fleeting and not the kind that really and truly matters.
Nothing is permanent in life. No matter your situation in life, say to yourself, this too shall pass because nothing is permanent. If you have lost an opportunity, made a mistake, failed an examination etc., do not fret…just have at the back of your mind that this too shall pass as nothing is permanent.
Another great lesson about life is that people change. Nobody remains the same forever, they either change for good or bad.
Always listen to your instincts. Your instincts cannot deceive you. Your instincts are like conscience. It speaks to you in uncommon and spontaneous ways. Whenever you don’t feel good about anything, it’s advisable to reconsider your actions. According to a sage, “in doubt, do not act”.
In conclusion, one needs to reflect about life, mistakes, actions, and more importantly, the experiences they have had over time, and either learn to adjust or stand their ground irrespective of circumstances.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate and creative writer Design Your Destiny and Unleash Your Destiny. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
A federal high court in Abuja has ordered the remand of Omoyele Sowore, presidential candidate of the African Action Congress (AAC), at the Kuje Correctional Centre pending the hearing of his application challenging the revocation of his bail.
Mohammed Umar, the presiding judge, made the order on Monday after dismissing an application by Sowore seeking the judge’s recusal from the case on grounds of alleged bias.
The judge subsequently adjourned hearing on the motion for stay of execution, as filed by Adeyinka Olumide-Fusika, Sowore’s new counsel, to June 24.
In a brief ruling, Umar held that Sowore should remain in custody pending the hearing and determination of the application.
Sowore had appeared before the court earlier on Monday, days after the judge revoked the bail earlier granted him and ordered his arrest.
At the last sitting on June 16, the court revoked the activist’s bail after stating that a letter seeking an adjournment on his behalf did not provide reasons for his absence from court.
The Department of State Services (DSS) is prosecuting Sowore on a two-count charge over a social media post in which he allegedly described President Bola Tinubu as “a criminal” on his X and Facebook accounts.
Following the revocation of his bail, the Oyo chapter of the AAC criticised the court’s decision, describing it as political persecution and alleging an attempt to frustrate Sowore’s political activities.
The party had argued that Sowore attended the previous hearing and requested alternative dates because of a scheduled trip.
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
Worry is a part of human emotion, and every living entity worry about some things, some times. It’s practically natural. People worry about life, finance, children, health, academics, career and even personal development or spiritual life. All these however, can distract and take away someone’s peace.
Worry is an unfortunate habit, which many people have erroneously believe they can live without, but the stark truth is that no one can live without worry. It’s inbuit. Even when we think we have everything, we discover that there’s something we are lacking. These could be what money can’t buy. It’s instructive to note here that nobody is perfect, and nobody has everything because everybody is limited.
To further buttress the limitation of man, imagine the human body; we have eyes, legs, mouth, tongue, nose, anus, hands among others, but none can say it is more superior than the other. If the leg, eyes or nose says it’s more important, the anus can decide to close, and the body system will be uncomfortable as it won’t be able to discharge waste products. The eyes can’t say it’s more important than the ears, neither can the nose say it’s more important than the legs or hands. Every one of them has different and definite functions.
So, when one of the body parts is not working well, it can make one worry. But the good news is that it is only a good attitude that can help us overcome challenges. It’s instructive to note that worry does not solve problems, rather it escalates the problem.
Problems do exist, I mean real life problems, do exist, some can be physical, spiritual, psychological, mental, spiritual, etc. When you have any of these problems, please don’t spend so much energy on the problems because it can escalate or create new ones
Although you can’t stop worrying entirely, there are steps you can take to better manage your anxious thoughts and reduce rumination.
1. Create a “worry period.” Choose a set time and place for worrying. It should be the same every day and early enough that it won’t make you anxious right before bedtime. During your worry period, you’re allowed to worry about whatever’s on your mind.
2. Write down your worries. If an anxious thought or worry comes into your head during the day, make a brief note of it and then continue about your day. Remind yourself that you’ll have time to think about it later, so there’s no need to worry about it right now.
3. Make a list of all the possible solutions you can think of. Focus on the things you have the power to change, rather than the circumstances or realities beyond your control.
4. After you’ve evaluated your options, make a plan of action. Once you have a plan and start doing something about the problem, you’ll feel much less anxious.
5. Get up and get moving. Exercise is a natural and effective anti-anxiety treatment because it releases endorphins which relieve tension and stress, boost energy, and enhance your sense of well-being. Even more importantly, by really focusing on how your body feels as you move, you can interrupt the constant flow of worries running through your head.
6. Meditate. Meditation works by switching your focus from worrying about the future or dwelling on the past to what’s happening right now. By being fully engaged in the present moment, you can interrupt the endless loop of negative thoughts and worries.
7. Speak to a Licensed Therapist: Acknowledge and observe your worries. Don’t try to ignore, fight, or control them like you usually would. Instead, simply observe them as if from an outsider’s perspective, without reacting or judging. Therapy has been shown to be extremely effective in helping people reduce worrying and manage anxiety.
8. Mindfulness: Mindfulness is a powerful practice for reducing worrying, by teaching us awareness and acceptance of our thoughts and emotions in the present moment.. Psychotherapy provides a structured environment for individuals to learn practical skills and gain insights into their worrying patterns, ultimately helping them worry less and feel better.
Mindfulness effectively reduces symptoms of anxiety by teaching you to observe your worries without getting too caught up in them. One way to incorporate mindfulness into your daily life is through mindful breathing and meditation. Whenever you notice worrying thoughts coming up, gently bring your attention back to your breath, over time, regular mindfulness practice can help rewire the brain to respond to stressors more calmly, which reduces the impact of worrying on your mental health.
9. Gratitude: Practicing gratitude is a powerful way to maintain a positive outlook and reduce worrying. Research has shown that gratitude may reduce stress and improve mental health. Gratitude activates regions in the brain associated with dopamine, the feel-good neurotransmitter, leading to increased feelings of contentment and decreased worry.
By focusing on what we’re grateful for, we shift our attention away from negative thoughts, which ultimately helps us worry less. Start by keeping a gratitude journal and try writing down 5 things each day that you’re thankful for, no matter how small.
In conclusion, resolve today to be so strong that nothing and nobody can disturb your peace of mind.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
As Ekiti State prepares for Saturday’s governorship election, the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) has assured voters of its readiness to conduct a free, fair, and credible poll.
The Resident Electoral Commissioner (REC) in Ekiti State, Bunmi Omoseyindemi, urged eligible voters to participate confidently in the electoral process, stressing that the commission remains committed to delivering a transparent and impartial election.
Reports quoted Omoseyindemi as saying that INEC had resolved all logistical challenges and put adequate measures in place to ensure the timely deployment of personnel and election materials across the state.
He also highlighted the close collaboration between INEC and security agencies through the Inter-Agency Consultative Committee on Election Security (ICCES), noting that the partnership is aimed at guaranteeing a peaceful and secure voting environment.
The REC further disclosed that the INEC Result Viewing Portal (IReV) would be deployed during the election to enhance transparency by enabling real-time upload and public viewing of polling unit results.
Meanwhile, a coalition of civil society organisations monitoring the election under the European Union Support to democratic governance in Nigeria (EU-SDGN) Election Observation Hub has expressed concern over reports of voter inducement, political intimidation and disinformation ahead of the poll.
At a pre-election press conference, the group alleged that incidents of vote-buying involving cash, food items, and the collection of Permanent Voter Card (PVC) and National Identification Number (NIN) details through pre-funded bank accounts had been reported in parts of Irepodun/Ifelodun, Ikole, Ikere, Ekiti East and Ekiti West local government areas.
The observers also raised concerns over the spread of misinformation on social media, including unverified claims regarding the use of cloned PVCs to manipulate election outcomes.
While describing the overall security situation in the State as largely peaceful, the coalition urged political parties, candidates and their supporters to refrain from vote-buying, intimidation and the dissemination of false information.
The group also called on security agencies to remain professional and neutral throughout the electoral process, while encouraging voters to exercise their democratic rights freely and without fear, coercion or inducement.
The 2026 Ekiti State governorship election will hold on Saturday, June 20, across the state’s 16 local government areas, with more than one million registered voters expected to decide whether Governor Biodun Oyebanji secures a second term or a new leader emerges.
According to INEC, a total of 1,059,360 registered voters are eligible to participate in the election, which will be conducted across 2,445 polling units located in 177 wards. Voting is scheduled to commence at 8:30 a.m.
Authorities have also announced a statewide restriction on vehicular movement from midnight until 6:00 p.m. on election day to facilitate the smooth conduct of the exercise.
Although 14 candidates are contesting the election, with Governor Biodun Oyebanji of the All Progressives Congress (APC), Oluwole Oluyede of the Peoples’ Democratic Party (PDP), and Dare Bejide of the African Democratic Congress (ADC) as the leading contenders.
INEC has confirmed the distribution of sensitive election materials to local government areas and assured voters of the readiness of the Bimodal Voter Accreditation System (BVAS).
Security agencies have also deployed personnel and operational assets across the state, particularly in border communities and other strategic locations, to maintain law and order throughout the electoral process.
Civil society organisations monitoring the election have urged residents to participate peacefully and responsibly, emphasising the importance of safeguarding the integrity of the democratic process.
