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Food for Living: Overcoming Anxiety, Fear, Stress and Anger
Dear Destiny Friends,
As human beings, we are confronted with fear, stress, anxiety and anger in the course of our daily activities. These, if not properly handled and managed, can destroy any organization or a productive being.
Arguably, one of the most dreaded emotions human beings face is stress. Stress can be a silent killer. When the mind and body is stressed, it has a way of affecting productivity. Just like anger is one of the fastest ways of destroying someone, fear is regarded as the greatest force limiting productivity.
Anxiety is another deadly type of fear because it deals more with worry, and the future, rather than the present. Anyone suffering from anxiety is likely to have an increased heartbeat, shortness of breath, difficulty in sleeping, and will always forget and lack focus.
The origin of negative feelings is traced to failed expectations from people, and situations which sometimes do not meet our expectations. When this situation occurs, we tend to have anxiety, anger, stress or even fear of the future.
As a human capacity coach, I constantly come across youths, adults, and parents who are constantly dealing with diverse kinds of pains, stress, anger, and anxiety in their lives. Any productive mind who wants to grow will have to eschew fear, anxiety, anger, and stress. This might be hard, but trust me, it is doable if you are able to train your mind and work with the right people. However, if you have fallen short of any, it’s okay to have regrets because we are all humans.
Anxiety normally creeps in due to expectations of the future, but it can be managed by a combination of medication and cognitive psychotherapy. However, neither lasts forever. A therapist can be used to manage these symptoms.
Happiness is the resultant feeling we have when we are at peace with ourselves and humanity. However, constant negative emotions can also get in the way of happiness, and it has the capacity to compound our level of stress and worry and ultimately damage our health. While there is no magic wand to change negative emotions to positive ones, there are ways to lessen the intensity of the emotion and shorten its duration. With practice, you can learn to disrupt and tame negative emotions.
What Caused This Feeling?
The first step in healing is asking the wh questions? Why did it happen? What caused it? When you understand the cause of a problem, you will be better poised to solve it. You will better understand and interpret memories, judgments, beliefs, values, expectations, and observations. When you understand these thoughts, the next big task is asking yourself if these thoughts will help you to solve any of your problems. You can ask yourself, does this feeling warrant me to be angry or fearful? Who can help me overcome this challenge/problem? How can I fix the problem or focus on the present as opposed to what I can’t change?
Physical exercise
Anxiety and anger can be reduced when you exercise. Exercise has a way of reducing worries, especially when you have music in the background. On a personal note, whenever I am exercising, I usually have music in the background because it has a way of making me feel present. The same is applicable whenever I’m stressed, I usually play music or sleep.
Take a Walk
Whenever you feel stressed, depressed, pained, or uncomfortable with the way life is treating you, try taking a walk and enjoy the beauty of life. You can decide to go to the beach, walk around the garden, or even take a random walk across the town. It’s normal to always see our deficiencies which blinds us to the beauty of life. When you take a walk, you see people of all kinds, some will be begging on the streets, some might be walking, others might be in a bus. If you can think out of the box, you will discover, you are far better than some of them with what you have.
You can also decide to visualize a happy place. For instance, imagine being in a resort, imagine how life will be when you overcome the stress, pain, anger, or even the tension with the thoughts. This feeling can make it more humane to control your human reaction.
Don’t Beat Yourself
One of the worst things that can happen to you as a human being is trying to be hard on yourself. As a human being, you can’t hide from your shadows. Your shadow is like your thoughts. You can’t hide from your thoughts. It’s like closing your eyes to the sky. You can reduce looking at the sky by using a goggle. So whenever you have negative emotions, acknowledge them instead of trying to shut them down, and see how you can work on them.
Face Your Fear
The fastest way to kill your fear is by facing them. If you don’t confront your fears, it has a way of robbing you and reminding you of how doomed you are. Facing your fears simply means doing what you dreads. For instance, the best way to become a good writer is by writing as opposed to procrastinating. When you start to write, you will kill the spirit of fear associated with writing. You will be happy you took the bold step. When I began writing many years ago, it felt like writing was stressful, but over time, I became addicted to writing and it’s now fun to me.
Another great way of dealing with fear is by imagining the worst that will happen if you face your fear. Do you know that whether you face your fears or not, the worst will still happen? How about you face it, you never can tell if you will overcome it. You can overcome fear by practicing mindfulness. Mindfulness allows you to become more aware of your fear because it creates awareness that helps you overcome your fear and anxiety.
Share Your Pain
Many people don’t understand the importance of sharing. Do you know that problem shared is a problem solved? When you have pain or feel stressed, please endeavor to speak out. I understand, each one of us is dealing with one pain, but then, there’s no harm in sharing. Keeping it to yourself might not solve the problem. The only concern you should have is the person you will share the pain with. Even if it means sharing it with a professional or trusted person, please do. You can talk to a family member, friend, a trusted clergyman, your doctor or a therapist. Depression is real, anger is real, pain is real, but they can be managed.
Rejoice/Reward Yourself
Celebrating yourself is the best thing that can happen to you. Take time to give yourself a little treat. Most times we are always looking for people to celebrate us. If nobody gives you a platform, create one for yourself. Try and reward yourself with any little success you have recorded. It has a way of boosting your ego and human capacity nature.
Eliminate Triggers
Figure out what are the biggest cause of negative emotions in your life. Is it your job, your schoolwork, your colleague? If you’re able to identify what they are, see if you are able to eliminate them from your life, or at least reduce them.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a Human Capacity & mindset coach. He’s also a public speaker. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of gloemi.com. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
The Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) has declared the candidate of the All Progressives Congress (APC), Mr. Lucky Aiyedatiwa, as the winner of the just concluded Ondo State governorship election, held on Saturday, November 16, 2024.
The Returning Officer for the election Olayemi Akinwumi, who is also the Vice-Chancellor of the Federal University, Lokoja, Kogi State declared Aiyedatiwa winner of the election on Sunday, extending the governor’s stay at the Government House in Alagbaka, Akure.
Governor Aiyedatiwa polled 366,781 votes to defeat his closest rival and a former deputy governor of the state Ajayi Agboola who flew the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) flag. He scored 117,845 votes, more than twice lower than the APC candidate.
“That Lucky Orimisan Aiyedatiwa of the APC having satisfied the requirement of the law is hereby declared the winner and is returned elected,” the returning officer said at exactly 2:30 pm at the INEC collation centre in Akure.
The declaration came hours after the collation of results for the election began in the early hours of Sunday. Although the collation centre went on breaks, the APC took a commanding lead with over 200,000 votes ahead of the PDP.
The final results showed that the APC won the election in a landslide, clearing all 18 local government areas.
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
There is no gainsaying the fact that everyone desirous of making impact in life must live a life of purpose. This is where knowledge and information come to play. It is these knowledge and information that will set an individual apart from his contemporaries.
I strongly believe, if one is not informed, they are ill-informed, and when they are ill-informed, they can’t perform well in any given endeavour. This is because information leads to reformation and transformation. We can therefore, confidently say that information leads to formation because everyone is a product of what they know.
Knowledge acquisition is one of the best things that can happen to anyone. People with knowledge are revered, and highly respected. Having knowledge is like having money. People from all walks of life will seek you.
There are different kinds of knowledge, and they include Revealed Knowledge, which comes from those who wrote the Bible and Intuitive Knowledge, which comes from the mind. It is the ability to gain knowledge without conscious reason or explanation.
Others are Empirical Knowledge, which is information gained through observation, experimentation, and direct experience, rather than through theoretical reason or intuition; Authoritative Knowledge, which is the knowledge a man has because of his expertise in a particular field; and finally but not the least, Rational Knowledge, which is a form of knowledge that uses reasoning and philosophy to understand the world.
From this illustration, a decisive mind can see that knowledge is priceless. Knowledge is like education. It can provide security and access. Even the Book of life says in Proverbs 4:13, “your education is your life, guard it very well”; and in Hosea 4:6 that “my people perish for lack of knowledge”.
From my personal experience in life, apart from death, one of the greatest levelers of all time is education. This is because the child of a certified pauper can become a man of means tomorrow if properly educated. That explains why children from humble backgrounds ought to take their education very seriously, especially if they don’t have affluence.
On a personal note, I come from a very humble background, my late parents didn’t have the opportunity of acquiring a decent education, but they knew the value of education and endeavored to give me and my siblings a decent education. In retrospect, when I look back and see some of my contemporaries whose parents couldn’t give them a decent education, I bless my late parents because education has exposed me to lots of opportunities in the United States, and the global world in addition to granting me an audience with the high and mighty in society.
Sometimes, when I look at my modest achievement, I’m deeply humbled because I know it is the grace of God. Who am I to author two amazing trailblazers’ books, get featured and profiled by the New York Times, engage in high level conversation with leaders of thought and captains of industries. Apart from the grace of God, intentional seeking of knowledge, and wise counsel from mentors and strategically positioning myself have been some of the cornerstone to my success.
Imagine if my late parents didn’t give me a decent education and opportunity of travelling to the United States, most of these opportunities and exposure wouldn’t have been readily available.
When one is decently enlightened, educated and informed about life, their level of reasoning and understanding differ from an ordinary man. If one desires to go far in life, one must seek knowledge.
It is your knowledge that sets you apart from others.
According to Dr. Yomi Garnett, an accomplished Ghostwriter, “If you are a man of great knowledge, people will have great respect for you. If you are a man of great wisdom, people will have great reverence for you. And if you are a man of both, great knowledge and great wisdom, you will be the most eminent of men. But in real terms, people don’t care how much you know, or how much wisdom you have, unless they know how much you care.”
The moral of this quote is that despite the knowledge and information at one’s disposal, if one lacks empathy, their knowledge, experience and whatever they have mean nothing.
The importance of knowledge cannot be overemphasized. In our contemporary society, a fast way of attracting opportunities is by showcasing the knowledge at one’s disposal. It is so sad that many people don’t take time to read, research and learn new trends applicable in their industry, and in the world generally and as such, they find it difficult to fit in and grow.
It is instructive to note that when you seek knowledge, opportunities will seek for you. A major reason people are poor is simply because they are not solving problems and to solve problems, one ought to have understanding. Do you know that if you don’t have money, the reason is often because you are not solving a problem, or you are not solving enough problems, or you are not solving the right problem or you are not solving problems for the right people. Generally, we make money because we have something unique to offer to the world. Therefore, to solve problems, one must have knowledge and information.
We currently live in an age of technological, where skills, talent and creativity are in high demand. Any progressive being that desires to go far must be intentional in seeking knowledge. Successful acquisition of knowledge, information and understanding can lead to discernment and wisdom.
In conclusion, as you journey towards life, if you want to make an impact, seek opportunities, and earn more money, do yourself a favour by endeavoring to seek knowledge, wisdom, and information. You can’t get these by sitting on your sofa or staying in your comfort zone.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
President Bola Tinubu has approved the appointment of Daniel Bwala as Special Adviser, Media and Public Communications (State House).
Bayo Onanuga, Special Adviser to the President on Information and Strategy, announced this in a statement, on Thursday.
A former aide of former Vice-President Atiku Abubakar, candidate of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) in the 2023 election, Bwala worked actively for his former principal who lost to Tinubu.
However, after the elections, he worked his way into the camp of Tinubu, sparking controversy.
Onanuga also announced the appointments of three directors-general of various agencies.
They are:
(1) Mr. Olawale Olopade — Director-General, National Sports Commission
(2) Dr. Abisoye Fagade — Director-General, National Institute for Hospitality and Tourism
(3) Dr. Adebowale Adedokun — Director-General, Bureau of Public Procurement
Olopade, the new Director-General of the National Sports Commission, is a sports administrator with many years of experience in the sector.
He served as commissioner of youth and sports in Ogun state and was chairman of the local organising committee of the 2024 National Sports Festival.
The new Director-General of the National Institute for Hospitality and Tourism, Dr. Abisoye Fagade is a marketing communication professional. He is the founder and managing director of Sodium Brand Solutions.
Adedokun, the new helmsman of the Bureau of Public Procurement, was the director of Research/Training and Strategic Planning at the bureau before his appointment.
Daily Trust
