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Food for Living: Overcoming Anxiety, Fear, Stress and Anger
Dear Destiny Friends,
As human beings, we are confronted with fear, stress, anxiety and anger in the course of our daily activities. These, if not properly handled and managed, can destroy any organization or a productive being.
Arguably, one of the most dreaded emotions human beings face is stress. Stress can be a silent killer. When the mind and body is stressed, it has a way of affecting productivity. Just like anger is one of the fastest ways of destroying someone, fear is regarded as the greatest force limiting productivity.
Anxiety is another deadly type of fear because it deals more with worry, and the future, rather than the present. Anyone suffering from anxiety is likely to have an increased heartbeat, shortness of breath, difficulty in sleeping, and will always forget and lack focus.
The origin of negative feelings is traced to failed expectations from people, and situations which sometimes do not meet our expectations. When this situation occurs, we tend to have anxiety, anger, stress or even fear of the future.
As a human capacity coach, I constantly come across youths, adults, and parents who are constantly dealing with diverse kinds of pains, stress, anger, and anxiety in their lives. Any productive mind who wants to grow will have to eschew fear, anxiety, anger, and stress. This might be hard, but trust me, it is doable if you are able to train your mind and work with the right people. However, if you have fallen short of any, it’s okay to have regrets because we are all humans.
Anxiety normally creeps in due to expectations of the future, but it can be managed by a combination of medication and cognitive psychotherapy. However, neither lasts forever. A therapist can be used to manage these symptoms.
Happiness is the resultant feeling we have when we are at peace with ourselves and humanity. However, constant negative emotions can also get in the way of happiness, and it has the capacity to compound our level of stress and worry and ultimately damage our health. While there is no magic wand to change negative emotions to positive ones, there are ways to lessen the intensity of the emotion and shorten its duration. With practice, you can learn to disrupt and tame negative emotions.
What Caused This Feeling?
The first step in healing is asking the wh questions? Why did it happen? What caused it? When you understand the cause of a problem, you will be better poised to solve it. You will better understand and interpret memories, judgments, beliefs, values, expectations, and observations. When you understand these thoughts, the next big task is asking yourself if these thoughts will help you to solve any of your problems. You can ask yourself, does this feeling warrant me to be angry or fearful? Who can help me overcome this challenge/problem? How can I fix the problem or focus on the present as opposed to what I can’t change?
Physical exercise
Anxiety and anger can be reduced when you exercise. Exercise has a way of reducing worries, especially when you have music in the background. On a personal note, whenever I am exercising, I usually have music in the background because it has a way of making me feel present. The same is applicable whenever I’m stressed, I usually play music or sleep.
Take a Walk
Whenever you feel stressed, depressed, pained, or uncomfortable with the way life is treating you, try taking a walk and enjoy the beauty of life. You can decide to go to the beach, walk around the garden, or even take a random walk across the town. It’s normal to always see our deficiencies which blinds us to the beauty of life. When you take a walk, you see people of all kinds, some will be begging on the streets, some might be walking, others might be in a bus. If you can think out of the box, you will discover, you are far better than some of them with what you have.
You can also decide to visualize a happy place. For instance, imagine being in a resort, imagine how life will be when you overcome the stress, pain, anger, or even the tension with the thoughts. This feeling can make it more humane to control your human reaction.
Don’t Beat Yourself
One of the worst things that can happen to you as a human being is trying to be hard on yourself. As a human being, you can’t hide from your shadows. Your shadow is like your thoughts. You can’t hide from your thoughts. It’s like closing your eyes to the sky. You can reduce looking at the sky by using a goggle. So whenever you have negative emotions, acknowledge them instead of trying to shut them down, and see how you can work on them.
Face Your Fear
The fastest way to kill your fear is by facing them. If you don’t confront your fears, it has a way of robbing you and reminding you of how doomed you are. Facing your fears simply means doing what you dreads. For instance, the best way to become a good writer is by writing as opposed to procrastinating. When you start to write, you will kill the spirit of fear associated with writing. You will be happy you took the bold step. When I began writing many years ago, it felt like writing was stressful, but over time, I became addicted to writing and it’s now fun to me.
Another great way of dealing with fear is by imagining the worst that will happen if you face your fear. Do you know that whether you face your fears or not, the worst will still happen? How about you face it, you never can tell if you will overcome it. You can overcome fear by practicing mindfulness. Mindfulness allows you to become more aware of your fear because it creates awareness that helps you overcome your fear and anxiety.
Share Your Pain
Many people don’t understand the importance of sharing. Do you know that problem shared is a problem solved? When you have pain or feel stressed, please endeavor to speak out. I understand, each one of us is dealing with one pain, but then, there’s no harm in sharing. Keeping it to yourself might not solve the problem. The only concern you should have is the person you will share the pain with. Even if it means sharing it with a professional or trusted person, please do. You can talk to a family member, friend, a trusted clergyman, your doctor or a therapist. Depression is real, anger is real, pain is real, but they can be managed.
Rejoice/Reward Yourself
Celebrating yourself is the best thing that can happen to you. Take time to give yourself a little treat. Most times we are always looking for people to celebrate us. If nobody gives you a platform, create one for yourself. Try and reward yourself with any little success you have recorded. It has a way of boosting your ego and human capacity nature.
Eliminate Triggers
Figure out what are the biggest cause of negative emotions in your life. Is it your job, your schoolwork, your colleague? If you’re able to identify what they are, see if you are able to eliminate them from your life, or at least reduce them.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a Human Capacity & mindset coach. He’s also a public speaker. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of gloemi.com. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
The importance of timing cannot be overemphasized. Timing is everything in life. It is critical to one’s success. You can lose your money and get it back in many folds. You can even lose your health and get it back all things being equal, but when you lose time, you can hardly get it back again.
The importance of timing can be seen in crops. Every crop has a season, a good farmer won’t plant maize when it’s time for oranges, nor will he plant pears when it’s the season for mangoes.
Time is very instrumental to the success and failure of anyone. Imagine having a meeting or interview at 9:00am and you arrive at 10:10am, it will take the grace of God to be interviewed. As an employee, apart from one not being able to diligently do his job, one of the fastest ways for an employee to lose his job is by being late to work.
When I was in New York Law School studying Taxation law, I did a course titled, the Problem of Timing. During the semester, I learnt about cash and accrued income. Let me do some academic exercise here. In cash income, just like the name entails, one is paid in cash as soon as the work is completed. It’s just like going to the market to make a purchase. One can either pay directly with cash or with debit or credit card. But Accrued income refers to revenue a company has earned by providing goods or services, but for which payment has not yet been received, one will have to do the work first before getting paid. This is applicable when one works in either a public or private organization where one is paid either weekly, bi-weekly or at the end of the month depending on the stipulated mode of payment.
It’s important to note that before the money is paid either in cash or accrued, one would have earned it. It’s just like one learning g before earning, and one will have to update to upgrade. These are just the practical principles that will work with life.
In the same way, in life there’s a seed time and harvest time. It’s a universal principle of life. Whether as a parent, entrepreneur, student or employee. As a parent, if you don’t train your kids very well, they will grow up to reflect the opposite of what you desire. As an entrepreneur when you invest in your business, you will get the reward in due time. As a student, if you take your studies seriously, your grades will improve, and as an employee, you stand to get promotions and opportunities when you add value to your work. In summary, one will have to put in the work before recognition comes on.
To understand how seedtime and harvest work, imagine where parents tend to like one child more than others just because they see potential in him, or he’s smart, hardworking or even creative. They fail to understand that every child is different and as such their timing can be different. Some kinds take time to develop.
I personally believe there’s something so unique about each individual which God has deposited in everyone of us. It’s just a matter of time for it to manifest. Your timing of manifestation is different from your siblings and colleagues.
Personally, I didn’t mature fast with my contemporaries. Overtime, I have seen much improvement in my personal and professional life. Maybe because I have added value to my work with the assistance of mentors and good friends, or God had to humble my colleagues and mentors . Why do I say this? During my formative years, I had little or nothing to show for it. I was looking at my contemporaries as mentor and seeing my mentors as small gods whose feat is unattainable, but now, the reverse seems to be case as I have developed capacity some of my colleagues are yet to attain, while I have even surpassed the achievement of my some of my mentors in some quarters.
In all these, they are all surprised how it happened. Some are yet to comprehend or articulate the feat. It’s just like watching a film where everyone slept and woke up to see the game and tides have changed. The secret behind it is the seed time and harvest time. I was probably learning the trade while in the wilderness, and when the training season matured and ripe enough to be harvested, I became attractive to almost everyone who loved the seed I was producing.
There are litany of examples of people, who have been in the wilderness during the seed planting season. Let’s take a case study of Joseph in the Bible, his journey to stardom took a little twist. Despite the travails he experienced in the hands of his siblings who sold him, his experience while in the jail, and with Portiphar’s wife, who tried to seduce him; they were all set ups for success. The moral here is Joseph seed time and harvest time was quite different, it wasn’t a smooth journey. Ordinarily, one would have cursed his siblings or his friends who were with him in prison and forgot him after they were released. But at the end of time, everything worked out for his favor. Joseph’s seed days were his dark days while in the wilderness.
Another inspiring story of note was that of Pastor Ibukun Awosika, the former board Chairman of First Bank of Nigeria. She once shared a pathetic story during her formative years of being in business. According to her, she sojourned for about 15 years. She cried because lines were not adding up for her and she wouldn’t do what her contemporaries were doing to get opportunities. At a point in her business, it appeared like she was in a race of own life because everything seemed to be against her, but at the appropriate time, lines began to fall in place for her. Appointments, business opportunities, favours and goodwill began to fall in place for her. Again, she had a fair share of seed time.
An interesting question I would like to ask you is, what’s your seed time? Have you ever been in the wilderness when you appeared to be fixed? It’s unfortunate many people are not willing to pass through the storms or experience seeds and harvest time. Amidst all these, one must do some work before they get opportunities. However, before such opportunities will come up, one will have to plant the seed.
In conclusion, seed time and harvest time is critical in the journey of life. Take a seat and determine what seed you would like to sow and what you’ll like to harvest.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
By Eric Elezuo
The Senate has suspended Senator Natasha Akpoti-Uduaghen for six months over her sexual harassment accusation and other disputes against the Senate President, Godswill Akpabio.
The Senate also withdrew her salaries for the period of the suspension, as well as her security details.
The chamber however, soft-pedaled on the salaries and allowances of her aides, who it was argued would not have any source of livelihood within the period.
Globacom is welcoming new customers on its network with the introduction of the e-SIM. The e-SIM activated in any Gloworld shop or Dealer outlet comes with an introductory free 5GB data when the customer buys a data plan of N1,500 or more.
Customers already on other networks can now join the Glo network with e-SIM as an additional SIM. Existing Glo customers can also enjoy this “SIM-less” freedom.
With the e-SIM, customers no longer have to worry about space for a physical SIM on their phones. The e-SIM is a software-based digital chip built directly into smartphones or wearable devices, thus eliminating the need for a physical SIM card for customers.
The use of e-SIM enables customers to have seamless switching between phone numbers without a physical SIM. It is ideal for upwardly mobile people who travel frequently. The e-SIM also guarantees security, as unlike physical SIM, it is harder to remove from devices. It is also eco-friendly and reduces plastic waste.
Globacom’s launch of the e-SIM enables enables it to cater to high-net-worth individuals and enterprise customers, and it also reinforces the company’s commitment to providing seamless and future-ready services to its customers.
A customer seeking to activate the Glo e-SIM needs to check the compatibility of the mobile handset by dialling *#06# on his or her phone. If an EID number reflects on the mobile screen, the device is e-SIM compatible.
“The customer can then proceed to the nearest Gloworld shop or Glo Dealer outlet to migrate to e-SIM. The process takes only a few minutes and the customer can thereafter begin to enjoy the use of an e-SIM”, the Marketing Department disclosed.
