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Food for Living: Success and the Imperatives of Setting Boundaries
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friend,
The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything – Warren Buffet.
One of the qualities of great people that ever lived on planet earth is focus. Without focus it will be difficult to get any work done. This is because when you are focused, you will define what you really want and what you don’t want. To succeed in every profession or vocation; be it academic, relationship/marriage, business, politics etc. you need to define boundaries.
The question now becomes what is boundary and how do you define boundaries? According to Psychology Today, “boundaries are the limits we set with other people, which indicate what we find acceptable and unacceptable in their behaviour towards us. The ability to know our boundaries generally comes from a healthy sense of self-worth or value for oneself in a way that is not contingent on other people or the feelings they have toward you.”
Boundaries help to define us, and states what we accept and what’s unacceptable. Boundaries can be likened to values. To understand how boundaries work, imagine a car without control; a man who has an uncontrollably anger problem; or a loose lady who has no respect for her body. Boundaries help you to protect yourself from distractions in life. As a result, every living creature needs a boundary. The simple reason we put boundary in our life is because you don’t want to accessible to just anyone.
Boundaries come in different shapes and sizes. As a rational mind, there are acceptable ways of communicating and engaging on social media. Civilized beings don’t use uncouth words. In a professional environment such as companies, organizations, institutions etc, boundaries are spelt out as a policy, rule and regulation.
When you decide to take a new route in life, it’s always good to inform those around you or your associates of your intentions, and expectations from them. They might be uncomfortable with the development, especially if it’s a radical and fundamental difference from the status quo. Those that care will respect you, while those who don’t literally value you, will show their true colour.
The advantages of creating boundaries are priceless. It gives you clarity and sanity of mind. It makes you understand what is important, and gives you a better understanding of who you are. It tells you about other people and most importantly, it defines you. Boundaries give you the ability to guard how you spend your time and resources. Setting a boundary gives you strength to say no, and to focus on what’s important. It is worthy of note as well that setting a boundary helps prevent obstacles.
It has a way of causing havoc, when boundaries are not properly set. For instance, without healthy boundaries, we can become resentful of the work we love; we can become resentful of those we love, especially if they don’t value or appreciate our time or what matters to us. As rational human beings, boundaries mean different things to us. Whenever your value is trampled upon or you feel disrespected, you are bound to react. According to an anonymous saying “Lack of boundaries invites lack of respect.
When you set a boundary, communicate it to people in the best possible way whether formally or informally. Let them know your plans and intentions. For example, you let them know when you are available and when you won’t be available. You can decide to put your phone either on silent mode or better still, switch it off. Boundaries must have limits.
Boundaries help you to understand people. For example, if you don’t show people who you are and what your capacity is, they will put you through anything. Why? Because you have shown that you value nothing; nothing, not even yourself. Be advised, if you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything and everything.
Naturally, human beings will test your boundaries. They will push you to the wall to see your reaction. The first way of attracting disrespect as a man or woman is when you don’t show boundaries. People will literally take you for granted.
A relationship is like building a house. When you build a house, you put gates and other security gadgets to protect you, your loved ones and what you value. Relationship entails making a choice. Choice defines marriage. Your choice defines what you want, it determines what you admire in a person, what’s tolerable and intolerable and what makes you feel you are compatible with the person.
Boundaries play a role in marriage or any form of relationship. This is because your partner needs to know what you like? When people complain about their spouse, it is sometimes because their spouse is not aware of their concerns. Therefore, it’s imperative for you to communicate with your spouse. If you decide to keep quiet, how is your spouse supposed to know?
Marriage is supposed to be enjoyed as opposed to being endured. There’s a difference between endurance and tolerance. Endurance is accepting the things that cannot be changed, while tolerance is adjusting to things while hoping people will change.
If you don’t state your boundaries, it has a way of coming back at you. The reason many people get drained in life is because they are concerned about what other people will say. They wonder what will happen if they decline a request, they wonder how their friends and the world will perceive them.
In some instances, we want to look to our partners, colleagues at work, children or close allies, just because we don’t want to offend them. We fail to understand that, we might lose the relationship when the coin is flipped. We might even harm them in the long run in the process of trying to protect them. Isn’t it true you can spare the rod and spoil the child?
In some situations, we are afraid of the circumstances. For example, in a professional environment, where sexual advances are totally prohibited, a lady or a man might be afraid of setting clear boundaries to his/her boss because of the policy. Due to the retaliation which might follow suit, they might be tempted to allow their boundaries to lay low, especially when their job performance is low.
In conclusion, according to Robert Frost, “Good fences, make good neighbors.” Sacrificing ourselves therefore, for others, does more harm than good to the relationship. It is imperative to always show the green, yellow and red light where necessary. In that way, we save a lot of situations and dramas.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a Human Capacity & mindset coach. He’s also a public speaker. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of gloemi.com. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
By Eric Elezuo
The West African Examinations Council (WAEC), Nigeria, has announced the release of the Computer-Based West African Senior School Certificate Examination (CB-WASSCE) for Private Candidates, 2025–Second Series.
The examination, according to a statement signed by the Ag. Head, Public Affairs, Ms Moyo Adesina was written between Tuesday, November 11 and Wednesday, December 17, 2025 with a total of
SIXTY-NINE THOUSAND, SIX HUNDRED AND FOUR (69,604) candidates, in 370) centres across the country.
The statement noted that “Out of the total number of candidates that sat the examination, SIXTY-ONE THOUSAND, NINE HUNDRED AND FORTY-THREE (61,943) candidates, representing 94.21 % have their results fully processed and released while THREE THOUSAND, EIGHT HUNDRED AND NINE (3,809) candidates, representing 5.79% have a few of their subjects still being processed due to some errors traceable to them.”
It further added that “THIRTY-THREE THOUSAND, NINE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY-NINE (33,989) candidates representing 51.69% obtained credit and above in a minimum of FIVE (5) subjects (with or without English Language and/or Mathematics) while TWENTY-SEVEN THOUSAND, SEVEN HUNDRED AND TWENTY-SEVEN (27,727) candidates representing 42.17% obtained credit and above in a minimum of FIVE (5) subjects, including English Language and Mathematics.
The Council said that a total of 1,899 Candidates’ results, representing 2.89 % of the total number of candidates that sat the examination, are being withheld in connection with various reported cases of examination malpractice, and that the cases are being investigated.
The Council therefore, advised candidates to check their results by visiting www.waecdirect.org to ascertain their status before visiting the Digital Certificate platform (www.waec.org) to access the digital copies of their certificates, which have been released along with the results.
The Federal government has filed a three-count charge against a former Governor of Kaduna State, Mallam Nasir El-Rufai, over the alleged interception of communications belonging to Nigeria’s National Security Adviser (NSA), Nuhu Ribadu.
Last week, El-Rufai claimed in an interview that he and other unnamed individuals listened to conversations from Ribadu’s phone after it was tapped by a third party. While acknowledging that such interception is technically unlawful, he argued that illegal surveillance was not unusual.
However, the Federal Government, through the Department of State Services (DSS), filed charges against El-Rufai at the Federal High Court in Abuja.
According to the charge sheet obtained by Channels Television on Monday, the government stated that El-Rufai admitted that he and his cohorts allegedly intercepted the NSA’s phone conversations.
The charges:
Count 1
That you, Mallam Nasir El Rufai, adult, male, on 13th February, 2026, while appearing as a guest on Arise TV Station’s Prime Time Programme in Abuja, within the jurisdiction of this court, did admit during the interview that you and your cohorts unlawfully intercepted the Phone Communications of the National Security Adviser, Nuhu Ribadu and thereby committed an offence contrary to and punishable under Section 12 (1) of the Cybercrimes (Prohibition, Prevention, etc) Amendment Act, 2024.
Count 2
That you, Mallam Nasir El Rufai, adult, male, on 13th February, 2026, while appearing as a guest on Arise TV Station’s Prime Time Programme in Abuja, within the jurisdiction of this court, did state during the interview that you know and relate with certain individual, who unlawfully intercepted the Phone Communications of the National Security Adviser, Nuhu Ribadu, without reporting the said individual to relevant Security agencies and thereby committed an offence contrary to and punishable under Section 27 (b) of the Cybercrimes (Prohibition, Prevention, etc) Amendment Act, 2024.
Count 3
That you, Mallam Nasir El Rufai, adult, male, and other still at large, sometime in 2026, in Abuja, within the jurisdiction of this court, with others still at large did use technical equipment or systems which compromised public safety, national security and instilling reasonable apprehension of insecurity among Nigerians by unlawfully intercepting the Phone Communications of the National Security Adviser, Nuhu Ribadu, to which you admitted during an interview on 13th February, 2026, on Arise TV Station’s Prime Time Programme in Abuja and thereby committed an offence contrary to and punishable under Section 131 (2) Nigerian Communications Act 2003.
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INEC Consults, Seeks Legislative Intervention As Reactions Trail Release of 2027 Election Timetable
The Independent National Electoral Commission has acknowledged public concerns over the timing of the 2027 general elections, which coincide with the holy month of Ramadan, a period of fasting and prayers for Muslims, and said it may seek legislative intervention if necessary.
This was disclosed in a statement by the National Commissioner, Chairman, Information and Voter Education Committee, Mohammed Kudu Haruna, on Friday.
The commission explained that the Timetable and Schedule of Activities for the 2027 general election was developed in strict compliance with the Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, 1999 (as amended), the Electoral Act, 2022, and INEC’s own Guidelines and Regulations for the Conduct of Elections, 2022.
The statement highlighted that the Regulations and Guidelines, issued since 2019, prescribe the dates for elections:
Accordingly, INEC fixed Saturday, February 20, 2027 for the presidential and National Assembly elections, and Saturday, March 6, 2027, for the governorship and state Houses of Assembly Elections.
However, the commission acknowledged public concerns regarding the timing of the elections, which coincide with the holy month of Ramadan.
INEC said it is sensitive to such considerations and remains open to adjustments.
“Notwithstanding the foregoing, the commission has taken due notice of concerns expressed by stakeholders regarding the coincidence of the scheduled dates with certain nationally recognised holidays and observances.
“The commission wishes to assure the public that it remains sensitive to all legitimate concerns that may impact electoral participation and the overall conduct of elections.
“In view of these representations, the commission is currently undertaking consultations and may, where necessary, seek appropriate legislative intervention to address the concerns raised, while ensuring that any adjustment remains consistent with constitutional and statutory requirements,” the statement said.
INEC reaffirmed its commitment to transparency, inclusivity, and the credible conduct of the 2027 general elections, promising to keep the public informed of any changes.
The commission had earlier scheduled party primaries between May 22 and June 20, 2026, for the nomination of candidates, alongside the general election dates.
Recall political figures like former presidential candidate Atiku Abubakar and former presidential aide Bashir Ahmad have called on the Independent National Electoral Commission to reconsider the February 20, 2027 date announced for the next general elections.
They expressed concerns that the timing coincides with the holy month of Ramadan, which could affect participation by Muslim voters.
The Punch
