By Henry Ukazu

Greetings Destiny Friends,

In less than two weeks, the year 2020 will fizzle out, paving the way for the grand entry of the year 2021. Without mincing words, the year 202O came with its share of mixed feelings; to some it was a blessing and to others, a total disaster.

One thing about life however, is its unpredictable nature; sometimes it offers opportunities, and at other times, it disappoints. Howbeit, no one can deny the fact that it gives you back what you give to her. Life is just like a computer; it is garbage in, garbage out.

As the year gradually comes to an end, it still remains a two way traffic where some are regretting and some are celebrating. At stocktaking time such as this, we need to ask ourselves how well we spent the last eleven months. Did you try to add value to your life in any form? Did you learn any new skill? Did you join any professional association or organization? Did you network with any resourceful mind? Were you able to graduate despite challenges? Did you begin any business, school or work? The list is literally endless. What most people fail to understand is that in life, there’s a seed time and harvest time. While most people are lamenting like Jeremiah in the book of life, others are rejoicing and harvesting. You can’t do nothing from January to November and expect a sudden miracle in December.

We are the architect as well as the masterpiece of our own lives. Nobody can design our life more than us.  We have the remote control of our lives. We are the compass of our lives; we are the rudder of our lives. But it’s sad to note that sometimes, we give up on our most precious asset – choice. We all have the power to decide the music and tone of our life and not the one the world plays for us. When you refuse to live your life, you are inadvertently giving other people the opportunity to live your life for you.

Do you wish to know how powerful a remote control can be? A remote control plays many roles, it changes the channel of a television, it controls the volume, it pauses the music, it can rewind and fast-forward. It can even record. A remote control literally plays the role you assign to it, all it requests from you is to make sure it has a functional battery. Let’s juxtapose the remote with our life. Sometimes, we put our life on hold due to setbacks and life challenges. Do you know that nobody likes to associate with people who give excuses, people who are poor, people who have little or no value to offer, etc. No matter what your storyline is, please stand up, dust yourself up and move on. Trust me, nobody cares about your drama.

We all have experienced those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives, and we have the control to change the channel to something else. Question: Are you willing to use your remote (brain) to focus on proactive ideas?

How can you remote-control your life?

Learn to change the channel by looking at the good things of life, quit looking at the pains you felt, change the channel to joy by remembering the good things that happened to you.

Forgive Yourself and Forgive Others

As human beings, it’s normal to always remember the harm that was done to you as opposed to the gains. There was a story of two friends (Mr. A & B) who were travelling. They had a misunderstanding along the way, Mr. A slapped Mr. B, Mr. B wrote it on the sand; Mr. A slapped me. As they approached a river, Mr. A crossed the river, but Mr. B was a having a difficult time and was losing balance, Mr. A quickly assisted him and when they got to the shore, Mr. B wrote on the rock, Mr. A saved my life. Mr. A asked Mr. B why he wrote on the sand when he was slapped, and when he helped him cross the river, he wrote on the rock, Mr. A replied, when someone hurt you, write it on the sand because the water will wash it away , but when someone does you a favour, write it on the rock or in your heart where you won’t forget it.

Be Grateful

As humans, we always fall into the habit of reliving sad memories instead of good memories. We fail to understand that emotions hold us back, especially when we look back. Instead of having those sad memories how about you remembering all the miracles you experienced and the difficulties you overcame. For example, when you had no money, when you had no job, when you were lonely and desolate, when you were sick or received a bad medical report, which God healed you of, when you were saved from a terrible accident, when you had a baby despite several miscarriage etc. Moral: Quit having a memorial event in your mind and celebrate each victory and make it a memorial anniversary by telling your children the stories of God’s goodness.

Guard Your Space

As the owner of your remote, you can decide who comes into your space. Decide what behaviors and lifestyle you can accommodate. By so doing, you are remote controlling your life to the channel you wish to see. This helps to give you sanity of mind.

Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others. To make these boundaries work for you, you need to understand your needs and what you are looking at changing.

In conclusion, imagine your brain as the remote control of your life. What do you store in your brain, and what channel are you willing to watch?

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a mindset coach and transformational coach. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of gloemi.com. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com