Opinion
Fact for Living: The Secret of Listening
By Henry Ukazu
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply”– Stephen R. Covey
Greetings Friends,
Today’s article will take a different route because it will be structured to empower any rational mind to think out of the box. One of the greatest force in life is love. There’s an imaginary strength that comes when we truly love. If you have truly loved, you’ll agree with me that you’ll not only care how your partner or friend feel, you’ll also listen to them.
I once read a book by Gary Chapman “The five love language Love language” where the author beautifully wrote about the five love languages (Words affirmation, physical touch, gift, services and time). When you truly care, you’ll apply all this love languages to your partner, friend, work or whatever you are doing. I choose to use love to buttress the important of listening because in whatever you do in life, if you don’t love it, you won’t give it your time and listening is one of the components of loving.
There are so many things we are stand to gain when we listen to people. One of the greatest things you can do for anyone is to listen to them. It should be noted that listening comes with respect. Whether you are in the cooperate world, self employed (entrepreneur), Non Government Organization or even faith based organization, you are bound to listen to your audience because that is the best way to communicate with them while serving them.
Listening is a choice, you decide to listen to what you like. It is really hard sitting or even standing up listening to people you don’t value. When you listen to podcast or programs of interest, you select music, talks or even comedy of interest that appeals to you. In this digital age, experience has taught me to pay attention to what really matters to me. In fact, unless I am sacrificing my time for a worthy cause, if it’s not taking me to the next level and if it doesn’t involve money, it doesn’t worth my time.
In any industry you are in, you need to practice good listening skills. Are you seeking for a job, or currently working, you need a good listening skill to succeed in a job environment.
With this skill, you can navigate the politics of the job environment. Even a leader needs this skill the most. I have always opine that one of the great art of a leader is the ability to listen and learn. This is because you get more ideas when you listen to your followers.
Listening gives you ability to hear (feedback) what others feel about your work. According to Bill Gates “your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning”.
During the course of this article, we shall be discussing the different styles of listening and how we can use effective listening to enhance our business or opportunity of interest.
Practice active listening: The most important gift you can give to a public speaker is your ears. When you listen to someone, you are not only giving the person your time, you are also learning more about the person. There’s a saying you can learn more about a person by what he/she does than what he/she says. Practicing active listening is a very good way to learn and be engaged. In communication, what is important is not what is being said, but what is not being said, therein, lies the message. When you practice active listening, you hear the unspoken language from the other person in addition to being engaged.
According to G.K. Chesterton “there’s a lot of difference between hearing and listening.” This is because hearing isn’t necessarily listening. This is because you can hear someone but not present at the same time. Active listening makes you to be present. You may have heard of the saying, the joy of life is not happy you are, but how happy someone can because of you. Everyone loves to be listened and loved. In my book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success, specifically on page 111, I wrote about the four levels of gratitude (Appreciation, administration, approval and attention). In order to understand this teachings you must practice active listening to understand the unspoken words inherent in such deeds.
Eye Contact: A great communicator uses eye contact to deliver his/her message. One of the most valuable ways a public speaker communicate with his/she audience is by using eye contact. With eye contact, you can tell if your audience is listening or feeling bored.
Sometimes you hear what the person is saying when you look directly in the eyes of the person, sometimes, maintaining a visible presence by looking over the head audience gives them the desired space they need. This is because some people don’t feel comfortable when they have direct eye contact. Eye contact also goes with the body language of the speaker. In communication, sometimes, somethings are better felt than spoken.
Don’t interrupt the speaker: A good way to know a great speaker is by looking how he/she pitches his/point or message. Interrupting a speaker can ruin the flow of information. That is why sometimes, it is good to reserve questions towards at the end of any presentation.
Listen without judgment: –: In communication, most times, people listen with the intent to respond as opposed to understanding. This normally plays out most times in marriage. In law, a good to way to apply justice is by listening to the other side. In applying this knowledge, the judge normally use Audi alteram partem, a Latin phrase meaning “listen to the other side”, or “let the other side be heard as well”. It is the principle that no person should be judged without a fair hearing in which each party is given the opportunity to respond to the evidence against them.
Meditation: Mediation is a form of listening. According to Thomas Carlyle, “Silence is the element in which great things fashion themselves together”. Meditation is truly a great form of listening. According to Wayne Dyer, an inspirational author, meditation is simply the act of being quiet with yourself and shutting the constant monologue that fills the inner space.
Meditation helps in self discovering. You learn more about yourself when you listen to your inner self as opposed to what other people think of you. There are many benefits that comes with meditation. Examples include: it reduces stress, helps you to focus very well, it reduces anxiety, it gives you better memory and enhances creativity.
In conclusion, a good listening skill if properly utilized will set you on a good path that will set you before leaders, kings and Heads of Industries if properly applied.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with New York City Department of Correction as the legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success.
By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
Complaining is part of human nature. We complain about our health, school, family, friends, work, finances, government, and life in general. Human beings literally complain about everything and anything.
Over time, I have come to discover something about life: complaining doesn’t solve a problem; it adds to it. According to the Book of Life, why worry when you can pray? The moral of this statement is that instead of worrying, why not look for solutions? When you worry, it only accumulates the problems, but when you explore avenues to solve a problem, you’re literally praying.
Complaining is like having a problem and apportioning blame to another person instead of fixing it. One of the hallmarks of great minds is the ability to solve problems, while little minds complain.
In the world of visionary leaders, they don’t complain; rather, they see complaints as challenges of life, while lesser minds see complaints as problems of life. Again, while great leaders see problems as a gateway to make money and succeed by proffering solutions, little minds see problems as obstacles limiting their growth to succeed. Same action but different results and consequences.
As human beings, we tend to focus on what we don’t have instead of focusing on what we have. It’s only when we appreciate what we have that we give room for opportunities and favors to come to us. It’s unfortunate some of fucus on what we are going through instead of what we are becoming.
It’s instructive to note that complaints don’t lead us anywhere, rather it hinders our progress. Nobody likes complainers; complainers are usually seen as energy suckers because all they do is take without giving. Instead of complaining, why not practice gratitude? Gratitude helps to draw and attract opportunities.
In the world of human relations, the ability to manage people is an uncommon skill. One must learn to nurture relationships. Human beings can be difficult to manage. While some exhibit meekness, gratitude, cheerfulness, and loyalty, some exhibit bitterness, frustration, depression, sadness, and sorrow. What most people don’t know is that we have the ability to change how we manage our lives and how we react to what life throws at us through our attitude.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not insinuating that complaining is wrong; rather, I’m insinuating it’s not healthy for our mental health. The only time we can complain about something is when we are proffering a solution; by so doing, we have highlighted the problems and proffered the solution.
Complaints make us blind to see the good in others. As a word of advice, if you focus exclusively on the shortcomings of the people with whom you have to relate and forget that they have a good point, it will be difficult to see the good in them.
According to Yomi Garnett, focus on the good side of people and be intentional in learning about their mindset and inquire what made them who they are. Also, focusing on the good side of people despite their bad or weak side makes them feel valuable as human beings, and by so doing, we show our empathic personality.
In conclusion, resolve today to stop complaining and start appreciating the challenges of life with gratitude.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
Metro
Ubuntu As Africa’s Moral Compass: Healing Xenophobia, Restoring Dignity and Rebuilding Continental Unity
By Tolulope A. Adegoke
The recent surge in xenophobic attacks against Nigerians and other African nationals in South Africa has once again exposed painful fractures in the ideal of African brotherhood. These incidents — marked by violence, looting, destruction of businesses, and loss of innocent lives — represent not only a humanitarian crisis but a profound moral failure that contradicts the very essence of what it means to be African. In the face of such division, the ancient African philosophy of Ubuntu offers a powerful, practical, and deeply human framework for healing, reconciliation, and sustainable unity.
Ubuntu, often translated as “I am because we are,” is more than a cultural expression. It is a complete worldview that affirms the interconnectedness of all people. It teaches that a person’s humanity is realised through their relationships with others, and that harming another ultimately diminishes oneself. In the context of xenophobia targeting Nigerians and other Africans, Ubuntu directly challenges the “us versus them” mentality and calls for a return to shared identity, dignity, and mutual responsibility.
Core Principles of Ubuntu in Relation to Xenophobia
- Interconnectedness: No African exists in isolation. The suffering of Nigerians in South Africa affects the dignity of all Africans. Ubuntu reminds us that an attack on one community is an attack on the collective African family.
- Human Dignity: Every individual, regardless of nationality, deserves respect and protection. Xenophobia violates this fundamental principle by dehumanising fellow Africans.
- Communal Responsibility: Success and security are collective. South Africans and other African nationals share common struggles — unemployment, inequality, and poverty. Ubuntu urges joint solutions rather than scapegoating.
- Reconciliation and Restoration: Harm must be acknowledged, justice served, and relationships restored. Healing requires both accountability for perpetrators and systemic reforms that address root causes.
- Harmony and Shared Destiny: True progress emerges when communities live in balance, recognising that Africa’s strength lies in unity, not fragmentation.
How ECOWAS, AU, SADC and Other Bodies Can Intervene
Regional and continental institutions have a critical role to play in providing structured, legitimate, and sustainable responses to xenophobia.
ECOWAS (Economic Community of West African States) As the primary regional body for West Africa, ECOWAS should:
- Establish a standing Joint Task Force on Migration and Social Cohesion with South Africa to facilitate dialogue and monitor tensions.
- Develop and enforce a Regional Migration Management Protocol that protects the rights of legal migrants while addressing irregular migration.
- Support skills-transfer and joint investment projects between member states and South Africa to reduce “push” factors of migration and demonstrate mutual economic benefit.
African Union (AU) The AU should elevate xenophobia as a continental concern by:
- Convening emergency sessions of the Peace and Security Council to treat xenophobia as a threat to African unity.
- Developing an African Citizenship and Mobility Charter that promotes legal, rights-based migration and integration.
- Strengthening the Continental Early Warning System to detect rising xenophobic sentiments and enable timely diplomatic intervention.
- Facilitating high-level mediation missions and reparative dialogue between affected countries.
SADC (Southern African Development Community) As the immediate regional bloc:
- Lead internal dialogue and mediation within Southern Africa to address cross-border tensions.
- Promote harmonised border management and labour mobility policies.
- Invest in joint infrastructure and human development projects that visibly demonstrate the benefits of regional solidarity.
Other Relevant Bodies
- The United Nations (through UNHCR and IOM) can provide technical support for humane migration management and protection of victims.
- The African Development Bank can fund large-scale regional projects that create shared prosperity and reduce migration pressure.
- Civil society, faith-based organisations, and the African diaspora should lead grassroots reconciliation and awareness campaigns.
Practical Solutions Aligned with Ubuntu
To transform Ubuntu from philosophy into action, the following multi-sectoral solutions are recommended:
Education Sector
- Integrate Pan-African history, shared heritage, and migration studies into school curricula across South Africa and the continent.
- Establish joint South African–Nigerian cultural and academic exchange programmes to build personal connections from a young age.
Economic Sector
- Develop joint business cooperatives and value-chain projects in agriculture, trade, and small enterprises involving both South Africans and migrants.
- Create government-backed township entrepreneurship funds that prioritise inclusive models benefiting legal foreign nationals and locals alike.
Governance and Leadership
- Publicly and consistently condemn xenophobia while addressing legitimate local grievances through transparent dialogue.
- Create national integration councils with representatives from South African communities and African diaspora groups.
Media and Public Communication
- Highlight positive stories of African cooperation, migrant contributions, and shared success.
- Partner with civil society for Ubuntu-inspired awareness campaigns promoting “One Africa, One Destiny.”
Youth and Community Engagement
- Organise cross-border youth leadership and entrepreneurship summits.
- Support community sports, arts, and cultural festivals that bring South Africans and other Africans together in celebration.
Global Relevance and International Standards
The fight against xenophobia in South Africa aligns with international human rights standards, the UN Sustainable Development Goals (particularly Goal 10: Reduced Inequalities and Goal 16: Peace, Justice and Strong Institutions), and the African Union’s Agenda 2063. Solutions must therefore meet global benchmarks of human rights protection, rule of law, and inclusive development while remaining rooted in African agency and ownership.
A Balanced Conclusion: Ubuntu as Africa’s Moral Compass
Xenophobia is a betrayal of African humanity. It weakens the continent’s global standing and delays the realisation of a united, prosperous Africa. However, through the deliberate and consistent application of Ubuntu — in education, economy, governance, media, and community life — South Africa and the broader continent can heal these wounds and build something stronger.
Ubuntu does not deny legitimate grievances. It simply insists that solutions must honour the dignity of every African. When leaders model it, institutions embed it, and citizens live it, xenophobia will lose its appeal. Africa’s greatest contribution to the world may not be its resources, but this timeless philosophy that reminds us: our humanity is bound together.
The path to lasting peace does not require perfection — it requires commitment. With courage, honesty, and collective will, South Africa and Africa can move beyond xenophobia toward genuine solidarity. The world is watching, and history is waiting. The time to choose Ubuntu is now.
Dr. Tolulope A. Adegoke, AMBP-UN is a globally recognized scholar-practitioner and thought leader at the nexus of security, governance, and strategic leadership. His mission is dedicated to advancing ethical governance, strategic human capital development, resilient nation building, and global peace. He can be reached via: tolulopeadegoke01@gmail.com, globalstageimpacts@gmail.com
By Tolulope A. Adegoke PhD
Building on the foundational imperative outlined in Part 1, this discussion delves deeper into the practical pathways, persistent realities, and transformative potential of leadership in Africa. It examines how leadership can drive self-reliance, foster deeper unity, and elevate Africa’s global relevance in a rapidly changing world. The analysis remains balanced, acknowledging both remarkable progress and sobering challenges, while offering actionable solutions for Africa and, by extension, the wider world.
The Current Landscape: Progress Amid Persistent Hurdles
Africa today presents a paradox of promise and pain. On one hand, the continent has recorded notable successes. Countries like Rwanda, Ghana, Botswana, Mauritius, and Senegal have demonstrated that focused leadership can deliver stability, economic growth, and improved governance. Rwanda’s post-genocide reconstruction under President Paul Kagame has become a global reference point for visionary leadership, digital innovation, and gender-inclusive governance. Ghana has maintained relatively stable democratic transitions for decades, while Botswana has transformed diamond wealth into broad-based development through prudent leadership and strong institutions.
On the other hand, significant challenges persist. Many nations continue to grapple with high youth unemployment, infrastructure deficits, climate vulnerability, debt burdens, and recurring political instability. The recent surge in unconstitutional changes of government in parts of the Sahel highlights the fragility of democratic gains. These issues are compounded by external pressures — unfair global trade rules, debt servicing burdens, and the effects of geopolitical rivalries playing out on African soil.
This complex reality underscores a central truth: Africa’s progress is neither linear nor guaranteed. It depends critically on the calibre and orientation of its leadership.
Forging Self-Reliance Through Bold Leadership
Self-reliance is not isolationism; it is the deliberate cultivation of internal capacity to reduce harmful dependencies. Transformative African leaders recognize that true sovereignty begins with economic independence and human dignity. They invest strategically in education systems that produce critical thinkers and innovators rather than mere certificate holders. They promote local content policies that prioritize African entrepreneurs in key sectors such as agriculture, mining, technology, and creative industries.
A practical model is Ethiopia’s industrial parks initiative and agricultural modernization efforts, which, despite challenges, have shown the potential of state-led strategic planning. Similarly, Morocco’s emergence as a regional manufacturing and renewable energy hub illustrates how deliberate leadership can reposition a country within global value chains. Leaders who champion self-reliance also reform agricultural systems, support smallholder farmers with modern techniques and market access, and invest in value addition to move beyond raw commodity exports.
Advancing Unity in Diversity
Unity in Africa does not require uniformity; it requires the mature management of diversity. Effective leaders build national and continental cohesion by promoting inclusive governance, respecting cultural identities, and ensuring equitable resource distribution. They invest in symbols, narratives, and institutions that foster a shared African identity while celebrating diversity.
The African Continental Free Trade Area (AfCFTA) represents a historic opportunity in this regard. When fully implemented, it can foster economic interdependence that makes conflict more costly and cooperation more rewarding. Leaders who champion AfCFTA are not just signing agreements; they are laying the foundation for a more united and economically powerful Africa. Successful unity also requires healing historical wounds through genuine reconciliation processes, as seen in Rwanda’s Gacaca courts and South Africa’s Truth and Reconciliation Commission.
Elevating Global Relevance
Africa’s global relevance will not be granted — it must be earned through excellence and strategic engagement. Forward-looking leaders position Africa as a solutions provider rather than a problem to be managed. They leverage the continent’s youthful population, cultural creativity, and natural resources responsibly to contribute to global challenges such as climate change, public health, and sustainable development.
Countries like Kenya (through its tech ecosystem), Nigeria (through its creative industries), and South Africa (through its scientific and industrial capabilities) are already demonstrating this potential. The most effective leaders amplify these successes by investing in quality education, research and development, and global diplomatic engagement that projects African agency rather than victimhood.
Practical Solutions for Current Challenges
To translate vision into reality, African leadership must pursue the following integrated solutions:
- Human Capital Revolution: Reform education systems to emphasize critical thinking, digital literacy, entrepreneurship, and ethical leadership from primary to tertiary levels.
- Institutional Strengthening: Build strong, independent institutions that can withstand changes in government and enforce accountability.
- Economic Transformation: Implement deliberate industrial policies, support local entrepreneurs, and accelerate regional integration through AfCFTA.
- Youth and Women Inclusion: Create structured platforms for meaningful participation of young people and women in governance and economic decision-making.
- Ethical and Accountable Governance: Combat corruption through transparent systems, judicial independence, and citizen engagement.
- Climate and Environmental Leadership: Position Africa as a leader in green economy solutions, leveraging its renewable energy potential and biodiversity.
Balanced Conclusion
Africa stands at a historic crossroads. The challenges are real and significant, but so too is the continent’s potential. Leadership remains the decisive variable. When leaders rise above narrow interests to serve the collective good, Africa does not just survive — it thrives and offers the world new models of resilience and innovation.
The path forward requires a new covenant: between leaders and citizens, between nations and regions, and between Africa and the global community. This covenant must be rooted in trust, mutual accountability, and shared vision. With the right leadership — courageous, ethical, inclusive, and strategic — Africa can forge a new era of self-reliance, unity, and global relevance.
The question is not whether Africa can rise. The question is whether its leaders, supported by an awakened citizenry, will summon the will, wisdom, and courage to make that rise unstoppable. The world is watching, and history is waiting to record the choices made in this decisive decade.
Dr. Tolulope A. Adegoke, AMBP-UN is a globally recognized scholar-practitioner and thought leader at the nexus of security, governance, and strategic leadership. His mission is dedicated to advancing ethical governance, strategic human capital development, resilient nation building, and global peace. He can be reached via: tolulopeadegoke01@gmail.com, globalstageimpacts@gmail.com
