By Henry Ukazu

Dear Destiny Friends,

There is no doubt everyone experiences different levels of pain and disappointment when things or life don’t go as planned. Many thoughts naturally run through minds. Depending on the issue on the ground, one might wonder what he did wrong, or what he could have done differently. More questions such as ‘was my request too much, did I act too fast or slow, was my approach bad, was my work untidy, did I under prepare will continually flash tbrough the mind? No doubt, the mind will be busy wondering what caused the failure.

Ordinarily, they are supposed to make us feel frustrated, especially when it is an opportunity we have been praying to have. Imagine having an idol, celebrity or an influential leader who can change your life giving you an opportunity, but for reasons beyond your comprehension or articulation, you couldn’t seize the moment to create a lasting impression; an lost opportunity.

Trust me, I can relate to the feeling having experienced similar fate on several occasions. There are relationships that I have lost either because I was naïve or couldn’t nurture it well. However, one may try to look at it, life may not always go as planned; one may be planning out his life and God or the universe will be planning something else. Sometimes, what we thought might be good for ourselves, might not really be good for us.

Let me share a practical story; during my formative years in the United States of America, I worked as a security officer for a decent amount of time, while still applying to many other companies. Though I couldn’t secure a decent paying job, I didn’t lose hope either, I kept my hope alive. It is important to state that I was frustrated and felt depressed. I wondered when my life will change for the better. It got to a stage I felt only a miracle can change the course of my life because people who have less capacity, competency and capability than me were getting opportunities and I began to wonder if I was cursed. Many thoughts were running through my mind. But what gave strength were the words of my Registrar while at New York Law School. According to him, if you lose all options, don’t lose hope.

One thing I did was to maximise my present status as a security officer and used the opportunity to network during the day. I attended events of interest in the morning, afternoon and nights. Sometimes. I will go to work from the event.

In all honesty, I didn’t know the people I met during my formative years while working as a security officer will be instrumental to who I am today, and what I will be doing in the near future. Why do I say this? I know for a fact, assuming I had a decent paying job after my law school program, I doubt if I would have had time to write my first book and as well, attend events and network with the high and mighty in the society.

When I look back, I will say this is a disguised blessing because all these people came in handy to support my work when I published my book.

Furthermore, there was a time I missed a Presidential Lifetime Achievement Award event, an award that could have changed the course of my life. While I was troubled by the incident, a mentor of mine said to me, “don’t grieve for what didn’t happen because what didn’t happen could prevent disaster from happening”. This is so true because sometimes we might not know the people we meet, who can do harm to us in the nearest future which we might not know, so the creator of the universe can cause a scene or situation that will prevent the relationship from going forward.

It can also be a case where one is looking for a job, and the job might be that which will consume the fellow in the nearest future. So, when one gets denied the opportunity of working, instead of crying over spilled milk, consider seeing it as disguised blessing, which can be a bigger company that might offer you more benefits. It can also be a case of maybe, your destiny helper might be in the company that offers you less pay as opposed to a bigger company that one is aspiring to get, but was denied.

In the journey of life, sometimes one must refuse to capitalize on one’s gain, this is because anyone can do that, but what’s more important is to profit from the loss, because that requires a certain degree of intelligence.

Disguised blessings can come in different forms, for instance while some people are begging because one of their legs is amputated, another person has won Gold at Paralympics because both legs are amputated and thereby receiving global recognition.

Life is about perspective; how you see it is how it will reflect on you. Life itself is a mirror; it depends on the lens you are using to view it. If you believe that life happens to you, you will be the beggar in that situation. But if you know that you happen to life, you will be bigger instead of being a beggar. So, wake up every day and don’t gauge how you feel that day. Instead, tell yourself how you want to feel on any given day. Be the driver of your life, not a passenger.

In conclusion, when you have done what you are supposed to, and life still doesn’t turn out as expected, instead of feeling frustrated, try looking at it from the angle of disguised blessings by learning the inherent lessons the said situation is bringing to your table of life.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

Dear Destiny Friends,

Every human being loves to get approval, either for the great work they have done or the ones they are doing. They love to be appreciated and admired. They also love to be given attention when they have something valuable to say or do. In all of these, one thing is certain, there is something special about us, and this special thing makes one unique, and ultimately attracts people to us.

Let’s face it, nobody will admire you, appreciate you, approve you and give you attention if you don’t have anything to offer. The reason most people associate with someone is because they feel or know there’s something they can gain from the person. It’s hard for someone to relate closely with someone who they don’t see potential value in.

There is no doubt each and everyone of us is unique, yes, there’s something unique about you. You can sing, you can write, you can dance, you can lead, you can serve, you can cook, etc. One can even be a good actor, athlete, comedian, or preacher. The list is literally endless. Now, what’s unique about you?

When you discover what’s unique about you, please do all within your reach to nurture and develop it. One day, the right person, who truly appreciates and knows your value will celebrate you.

I have a friend who is exceptionally skilled in writing and developing creative contents. I call him a genius because he can literally write a book within a week. How he does it is what I don’t understand. I was surprised when he once told me he wrote a book and manuscript in one week. According to him, he has been developing the contents mentally, but hasn’t found time to put his thoughts together, and when he finally gets his thoughts together, he was able to write the book and manuscript. This is a typical way of knowing a unique being.

Many, however, do not know what’s unique about them. We focus our energy chasing what is not chasing us instead of focusing on developing what we already have. It’s sad to see young and old people living their lives in an unintentional manner with a belief that somehow lines, favour or opportunities will fall in place for them.

Sometimes, we rely on other people’s affirmation and opinion, and accept it as our fate. For instance, just because one is tall, he might be told he will be a great fit for basketball without considering if the athlete loves basketball; again, just because someone is very intelligent, his parents will encourage him to major in a particular discipline, which is perceived as lucrative without considering if the person likes it pr not.

I once experienced this fate when my late dad inspired me to study taxation law in New York Law School, a major I detest with passion. It was like a suicidal mission for me because I do know, it will take miracle to graduate from the program. How I was able to get a scholarship for my grades and graduate in record time is a story for another day. I’m not wired as a finance person, I will better serve humanity in the social and developmental space where my skills, talents, gift and passion will be better utilized. And ever since I joined the space, I have seen results.

There are many cases where many people lose their identities without knowing they are unique. We are all unique in our individual ways. Just like there are several gifts and talents, we have different skills. When you know what’s unique about you, you will stand out and the world will not only appreciate you, but will celebrate you.

When one discovers the power of their uniqueness, we will gather strength to unleash it to the world. Uniqueness works in several ways. For instance, the mere fact that ten people are genius, talented, skillful or valuable in a particular work, the person with the unique gift is the person who will not only stand out, but will be called upon to do the work.

Let me share more insight. If ten people sing a particular song with a great voice, the person who is called to be a singer will receive a unique appreciation because he/she is working on purpose. That is why it is easy to see a lot of people venturing into a particular form of business, but the favour of the business will not locate them because they are not uniquely destined to do business.

Few years ago, one of my mentors shared a deep insight with me. He said that, as a trained medical doctor, he once observed that despite the fact there are hundreds and thousands of medical doctors practicing their profession. One fateful day, he noticed a particular patient was not responding to treatment despite all the medication that had been given to him by a nurse, his health was deteriorating, then another nurse came and administered the same pill a nurse gave the patient, and the patient began to feel better. What does that tell you? The second nurse was probably working in her purpose which aligns with her profession, and as such the corresponding success. This goes to show that when one is unique, it has a way of robbing off on their work.

Furthermore, he stated that Mariah Carey, Michael Jackson, and Beyonce are some of the gifted singers and dancers the world has ever celebrated. He went on to say that we have hundreds and thousands of musicians, but only a few have got the spotlight.

What does that tell you? When you are unique, the world will celebrate you. I have understood that the fastest way to get recognition in life is to work in areas where one’s strength and unique gift will better serve the purpose. This is simply because the world does not celebrate one’s weakness, rather, the world celebrates one’s strength.

In recent times, I have seen myself as a counselor and human inspiration. My counseling skills have enabled me to influence people to live positive lives. Overtime, I have realized that when people share their burden with me, they feel relieved after speaking with me. What amazes me most is the fact that even my elders feel comfortable to relate with me on a cordial basis. Maybe, I have a unique gift for counseling and educating.

Today, I am going to charge you to focus your energy and time on whatever will bring you the highest satisfaction. Even if you are looking for a job, applying for school, or seeking any opportunity, your focus should be centered on what you have that the job, school or opportunity will amplify. When you do so, you will be in high demand.

In conclusion, please affirm to yourself today, I am a unique being with a unique personality, purpose and gift.

Say to yourself, ‘I am original’, and refuse to be fake.

Again confess that your originality, authenticity and uniqueness will attract favours, blessings, opportunities from leaders and queens to you, and you will be celebrated.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

By Henry Ukazu

Dear Destiny Friends,

Sometimes, we don’t know the potentials and power we carry within us. This is because we have not had the opportunity to thrive in the right atmosphere. But given every equal opportunity, every person is a potential achiever because we don’t have dull brains, only undeveloped brains. You are a genius; I am a genius, but only the one who utilizes his available opportunity, brings out the genius in him.

There is no doubt some environments are conducive for opportunities and business to thrive; however, it is instructive to note that there’s no perfect time and place for a determined mind to thrive. Isn’t it true that no matter how hard the waves and torrents hit the ship, the ship will always find a way to thrive.

Life will not always be perfect; we just have to do our best in any place, and time we find ourselves, with what we have and where we are. Whichever way one looks at it, done is always better than perfect, especially when perfect is not done.

Sometimes, uninformed minds think some people have more opportunities than others. They fail to realize that while some are born great, some achieve greatness, some have greatness thrust upon them, while some others put in the hard work.

On a personal note, in all honesty, my level of smartness is that of an average man, who is intentionally working a little bit harder. Sometimes I must read repeatedly just to get a basic understanding of a piece of work, and when I understand it, some people will think I am smart. When you compare the scene with one with an ingenious mind, you’ll discover the difference is clear.

Let’s take a practical case of my writing skills. Ordinarily, someone will think I’m very intelligent publishing articles every week, however what they won’t understand that it takes determination, persistence and most importantly the grace of God for me to do what I do every week. Some people might have more understanding than me, but they lack the grace of God to be consistent. The moral here is that regardless of what you supposedly think you have or know, one has to be humble about life otherwise life will humble you.

Everyone of us has a genius inside of them waiting to be unleashed. The genius in you won’t pop out unless you challenge it by leaving your comfort zone. Most of the people the world celebrates didn’t just become extraordinary; they had to put in the work which can entail strategic and intentional working, constant reading and researching just to add value to their work, exploring opportunities, failing and trying again, taking risks, etc. Trust me, the list is endless.

It is generally said great men are people who do ordinary things in an extraordinary manner. These sets of great minds can be very detailed in their thought process and approach to life. They do know that any opportunity not properly handled can affect all the work they have built overtime.

Let me share a practical example, imagine building a house on a faulty foundation, it won’t take long for the house to crash.  Then contrast it with building a house on a solid foundation where original structures and equipment where used, one can confidently sleep quietly knowing fully well the right things has been done.

Imagine a contractor who is considered a genius used a substandard product for reasons best known to him to build a house or construct a road, and imagine a second-class contractor builds the same house or construct the same road with the right products. If an examination is done on both work and the examiner determines that the genius contractors work is faulty, while the second-class contractors work is good, who do you think will be considered a genius contractor? Of course, the second-class contractor simply because his work lasted overtime.

That’s exactly how extraordinary people succeed. They are very thorough in their work.  They do ordinary things in an uncommon manner. They know a single mistake can destroy all their hard work Realizing that little things can mean a lot. They don’t take chances and take nothing for granted.

In the same way, if one is privileged to meet great people or have access to great minds who have distinguished themselves, it will be unwise to beg them for money, rather seek for ways to learn from them by adding value to their life. If one can cultivate and nurture the relationship very well, the tendency for the person to thrive will be high and if the opportunity comes and one utilizes it, the world might think the person is lucky or blessed, some might even attribute it to their location or the role of mentors in the person’s life.

They might contribute to some extent, however, they won’t see the big picture which can be the process, skill and most importantly the ingenious strategic work the person put in place to attract the opportunity.

It should be noted, no serious mentor will recommend somebody for opportunity based on mediocrity. One must be competent in addition to doing the needful to show competency.

If we are honest to ourselves, we all have made one mistake or the other that if properly managed would have given us greater opportunity. I can vividly remember meeting the Miss universe in 2014 in Washington during President Obama’s administration. This lady sits on the board of Warren Buffet and has access to other world leaders. At one point in time, our discussion was centered on how we will travel to Nigeria for a business meeting with the former President of Nigeria (President Olusegun Obasanjo).

We had a couple of meetings with some of her mentees and colleagues in Columbia University. In all honesty and sincerity, I had access to privileged information. Quite unfortunately, I couldn’t manage the relationship very well and it slipped off my hand. Imagine, if I had managed the friendship, who knows where I would have been now, the genius in me would have blossomed. Lessons learned.

The moral here is that we are all geniuses as opposed to what is peddled out there. The only difference is how we package and present ourselves. If you package yourself as a hungry man, the genius in you will not manifest. If you present yourself as an ambitious, disciplined and intentional man, the universe will connect more with you, and when all people see your accomplishments, they will regard you as a genius.

In conclusion, as you step out to live your life, endeavour to figure out the genius in you. Figure out what makes you unique, what makes you stand out and what makes you attractive. When you figure it out, the world will celebrate the genius in you.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com