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Food for Living: The Power of Words

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By Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,

“You can change the course of your life with your words.” Anonymous

Every one of us has the power to shape not only our life but the life of the people around us. As a parent, you have the power to speak life into your unborn and living child. Nobody has the power to influence their life more than you. As a spouse, you have the power to speak life into your spouse’s life regardless of what they are hearing outside, what you say to them matters more. That’s why as a married man/woman, it’s always better to mind the words you use against your partner when you are angry. The same is applicable to anyone who is angry. When you utter such words, even though you may reconcile with your partner/friend, the words will still create a hole or wound in the heart of your partner/friend. That’s why it is advisable not to mix your words with your mood when you are angry, you can change your mood, but you can’t take back your words.

Even if you have a misunderstanding with anyone, raise your word, not your voice. Uninformed minds don’t realize that the tongue has no bones but is capable to break a heart. According to Pearl Strachan Hurd “Handle them carefully, for words have more power than atom bombs.” Can you see how powerful and dangerous words can be? Each and every one of us is already going through stress and don’t need more stress, so it’s always good to leave one kind word on anyone you see. This is because one kind word can change someone’s entire day.

Do you know there’s power in words?  Yes, this is because one of the most powerful force in the world is words. Even the Book of life made use to understand that, it is not what enters the mouth of a man that defiles a man, but what comes out of the mouth of a man. Do you know that the right words of words have a way of evoking emotions when used at the right time and right place?

The power of words cannot be overemphasized. As a man trying to woo a lady, you must have the right words to soften her heart. That’s why Gary Chapman stated “Words Affirmation” in his book “The Five Love languages as one of the love languages. Furthermore, when communicating with anyone, you need to know how to approach the conversation be it friendship, business, academic, spiritual, association, mentor/mentee, or even family. Your inability to use the right words can either make or mar your relationship.

Just to let you know how powerful words are, do you know when you speak, the walls hear your utterance, the ground stamps it and the air carries it.  According to Lao Tzo, “watch your thoughts they become your words, watch your words they become your actions, watch your actions, they become your habit and watch your habit, they become your character, and watch your character, they become your destiny”. There are many instances of people who understood the power of words and used it to their advantage. It’s quite unfortunate, some uninformed, minds have attracted negative force into their life without knowing. These sets of people use words like I’m ugly, I’m broke, I’m not smart, I can’t make it, life is against me, etc on themselves.  Even if you feel a certain way, quit uttering such words, don’t spit them out, let them die inside of you. The universe has a way of bringing them back to you later in life without you knowing. That’s why it’s always good to choose your words wisely.

To utilize the right words of words, always speak from your heart. When you speak from your heart, words can have great force. Words are deep and can carry deep emotions. Words are used to express how we feel emotionally. For instance, most ladies speak with emotions, while the majority of men are logical with their words. Words can be used to describe our thought process, our experience in life at the events we attend, and the people we meet.

As a way of advice, it’s always better to choose your words carefully before you utter them to others because you can’t take them back when it goes out. So, before you speak, chew your words by listening to yourself.  I can vividly remember words that were used on me by my “supposed mentors” during my formative years in America, each time I reminiscence those words, I always smile because the biggest revenge is success.  Due to my bad and horrible writing skills, one of my “supposed mentors told me “she has to be hard on me” another once told me “I will go back to Nigeria” because according to her, she doubt if I will be able to compete with the system in America. Guess, what, by the special grace of God, I have now an acclaimed author, but more than that, I’m a creative writer whose works have been published in my international and print media.

I’m not trying to boast about my accomplishment, rather, what I’m trying to say is that nobody, and I repeat nobody knows tomorrow. That’s life for you. The child of a certified pauper can become a man of means tomorrow if properly educated. That life is unstable for you now does not mean that’s how it will be forever, provided you are doing your best to improve, trust me, the universe has a way of connecting you to the right people if you have the right attitude and do what you are supposed to do.

Nobody has the power to make your life better more than you. That’s why it’s very important you speak life into your life. Even though your parents, friends, spouse, mentors, etc. speak life into you, the words you speak to yourself matter most and if they speak negativity into your life, you still have the power to change it by not listening to their words. Affirm to yourself what you want to become.

In conclusion, I will leave you with great quotes to inspire you on the power of words.

“Words can inspire and words can destroy”. Robin Sharma

“Your words have power use them wisely.” Anonymous

“The meaning behind the words, the feeling is more significant than the words themselves, so listen.” Anonymous

“Kind words do not cost much. Yet they accomplish much.” Blaise Pascal

“Your words become your world.” Nadeem Kazi

“The mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” Anonymous

“May every word that is ever spoken by our mouths be words that lift up, and never words that tear down.” Anonymous

“Never underestimate the power of words to heal and reconcile relationships.”

Jackson Brown

“Beautifully crafted words have the power to captivate the mind of anybody.”

Sam Veda

“Your words carry amazing power. So when you speak make sure you uplift someone and never put them down.” Anonymous

“There is power in words. What you say is what you get.” Zig Ziglar

“Be sure to taste your words before you spit them out.” Anonymous

“Words have the power to make things happen.” Frederick Buechner

“A few nice words can help a person a lot more than you think.” Anonymous

“Our words have creative power. With our words, we can speak blessings over our future.” Joel Osteen

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a Human Capacity & mindset coach. He’s also a  public speaker. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of gloemi.com. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Benin-Agbor Road Gridlock Worsens, Motorists, Commuters, Residents Lament

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The traffic gridlock along the Benin-Agbor Road has continued for days, leaving motorists, commuters and residents stranded for hours as the situation worsens.

The prolonged gridlock, which is being attributed to the deteriorated condition of the road and failed portions along the route, is disrupting commercial activities and making daily commuting increasingly difficult.

According to reports, motorists have continued to express frustration over the hours spent in traffic, saying the situation is taking a toll on their businesses, vehicles and daily activities.

One of the drivers lamented that the road has suffered years of neglect under successive governments, saying repeated calls for intervention have not produced a lasting solution.

He said the poor condition of the road, combined with the heavy volume of vehicles using the route, has made movement particularly difficult, with some motorists spending several hours on journeys that would ordinarily take a fraction of that time.

Residents along the route are also expressing concern over the impact of the gridlock, as the congestion is affecting the movement of people and goods and disrupting commercial activities in communities along the corridor.

The Chairman of Ikpoba-Okha Youth Association, Kingsley Osenmwingiewho, joined the call for urgent intervention, appealing to the Federal government to expedite repairs of the failed portions of the Benin-Asaba Road.

Osenmwingiewho particularly called for immediate attention to the Benin-Agbor Road bypass axis, where the condition of the road has become a major source of concern to motorists and residents.

He said rehabilitating the failed sections will not only ease the present gridlock but also improve the movement of people, goods and services along the busy Benin-Asaba corridor.

For motorists and residents who have continued to endure the daily traffic nightmare, the appeal is for authorities to move beyond temporary measures and begin urgent, lasting repairs of the road.

As the gridlock persists, road users are hoping that government intervention will come soon to restore normal traffic flow and relieve the pressure on commuters who have been stranded for hours.

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Five Law Students Barred for 10 Years over Exam Malpractice

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The Council of Legal Education (CLE), on Monday, announced that five law students have been barred from sitting for the Bar Final Examination for 10 years over examination malpractice.

The council made this decision during its third-quarter meeting at the Nigerian Law School headquarters in Bwari, Abuja.

In a statement on Sunday, Aderonke Osho, the council’s secretary and director of administration, said the meeting reviewed and approved reports from the examination misconduct committee about cases from the December 2025 Bar Final Examination.

“Following consideration of the reports, the Council approved the disqualification of five (5) candidates found guilty of examination misconduct and barred them from sitting the Bar Final Examination for a period of ten (10) years,” the statement said.

The council also approved penalties for two students found guilty of indiscipline-related misconduct.

However, CLE did not share the names of the students involved or the universities they attended.

Osho also said the meeting discussed policies, regulations, academic issues, and administrative matters related to legal education and running the law school.

In April, the council reported that about 1,067 out of 7,602 candidates failed the 2025 Bar Final Examination.

The results showed 212 candidates earned first-class honours, and 1,216 received second-class upper.

In addition, 2,961 candidates graduated with second-class lower honours, 1,622 passed, and 314 received conditional passes.

A total of 210 candidates did not attend the exam. The council reported an overall pass rate of 79.1 percent, which is lower than last year.

At the same time, 983 candidates failed the 2026 bar final resit. This accounts for 50.3 per cent of the 1,955 candidates who took the exam.

According to the council, only 883 candidates passed the examination held in May, for an overall pass rate of 45.3 per cent, while 54.7 per cent did not attain the prescribed pass mark.

The bar final is the qualifying exam administered by the Nigerian Law School for law graduates who have completed the required vocational training. It is usually held once a year and is necessary for those who want to become legal practitioners in Nigeria.

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The Diplomacy of Dignity: Unlocking Manna, Navigating Doors, and Reclaiming Character

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By Tolulope A. Adegoke

Access is the door; character is the key. But manners—manners are the hand that turns it. Turn gently, for every lock has a master, and every master remembers the weight of your touch.

Introduction: The Alchemy of Conduct

In the lexicon of leadership, strategy, vision, and resilience are often heralded as the pillars of success. Yet, beneath these monumental structures lies a more subtle, pervasive, and ultimately decisive foundation: Manners. Far from being mere decorative pleasantries or antiquated social rituals, manners are the operational currency of human interaction. To profess that “Manners give the Manna” is to recognize a profound metaphysical and practical truth—that the quality of one’s conduct directly correlates to the abundance of opportunities, trust, and resources (the “manna”) one receives in a professional and societal context.

This write-up posits that mannerism is not merely etiquette; it is the highest form of Cultural Intelligence (CI). It is the dynamic ability to navigate diverse human ecosystems with empathy, respect, and situational awareness. True leadership, therefore, is not a position of power but a performance of character. When access is treated as a privilege rather than a right, when honor is woven into communication, and when appreciation is rendered with sincerity, the leader transforms from a manager of tasks into an architect of possibilities.

Part I: The Economics of Etiquette—Why “Manners” Yield “Manna”

The adage “Manners give the Manna” is rooted in the economics of social capital. In every organization, the “manna” represents the intangible assets that fuel success: loyalty, discretionary effort, insider information, and collaborative synergy. These are not entitlements; they are gifts granted by subordinates, peers, and superiors based on the perceived worthiness of the receiver.

·         Example 1: The Executive and the Elevator. Consider a CEO who steps into a crowded elevator. Instead of ignoring the junior staff member holding the door, the CEO offers a warm acknowledgment, asks about their ongoing project by name, and thanks them for their diligence upon exiting. This 30-second interaction yields “manna” in the form of heightened morale, a sense of visibility, and a narrative of approachability that spreads through the workforce. Conversely, the CEO who stares at their phone in silence harvests resentment. The “manna” of trust is withheld.

·         Example 2: The Cross-Cultural Negotiation. A Western executive negotiating with a Japanese corporation arrives early, presents a business card with both hands, and bows slightly upon receipt. This act of cultural mannerism signals profound respect for the host’s hierarchy. It bypasses transactional friction and opens the “door” to relational negotiation. The “manna” here is a contract signed with goodwill, rather than legal rigidity. The executive who ignores these rituals may win the argument but lose the relationship—and thus, the long-term “manna.”

Manners, therefore, are the lubrication that reduces the entropy of human systems. They signal predictability, safety, and mutual regard—conditions under which human beings perform optimally.

Part II: Mannerism as Cultural Intelligence (CI)

Cultural Intelligence (CI) is the capability to relate and work effectively across cultures. However, a significant oversight in contemporary CI training is the reduction of culture to nationality. Culture exists in corporate boardrooms, engineering bays, and creative studios. Mannerism is the practical application of CI.

·         Understanding Context (Cognitive CI): Mannerism requires the leader to read the room. In a high-trust Scandinavian startup, mannerism might mean flat hierarchies and first-name basis communication. In a traditional Indian family-run conglomerate, mannerism demands deference to age and tenure. The leader with high CI does not impose a monolithic standard of “politeness” but adapts their behavioral code to honor the prevailing cultural architecture. This is not duplicity; it is the intelligence of adaptation.

·         Managing Micro-expressions (Motivational CI): True mannerism is motivational; it stems from the genuine desire to connect. When a leader thanks a team for working late, the mannerism is not in the words “thank you,” but in the tone, the eye contact, and the subsequent action of providing a compensatory day off. This behavioral integrity speaks the universal language of respect, transcending linguistic barriers.

·         The Behavioral Index (Behavioral CI): Mannerism is the observable index of one’s cultural intelligence. It is the act of listening without interrupting, the discipline of acknowledging an email within 24 hours, and the grace of giving credit in a public forum. These behaviors indicate that the leader has internalized the cultural values of fairness and dignity.

Part III: “Manners Make the Man”—The Nexus of Character and Identity

“Manners make the Man” is a declarative statement on identity. It suggests that our external conduct is not a mask but a mold—it shapes who we are. A leader who habitually practices courtesy rewires their neural pathways to default to empathy.

·         The Construct of Dignity: Manners are the scaffolding of dignity. They prevent the dehumanization of the other. In high-stakes environments, where stress is prevalent, the “Man” (or person) who retains their manners retains their humanity. For instance, during a corporate restructuring, a leader with manners will lay off employees with transparent communication, severance support, and personal acknowledgment of their contributions. This leader maintains their moral standing. The leader who lacks manners treats the layoff as a statistical necessity, reducing humans to numbers. The former preserves their reputation; the latter destroys theirs.

·         Character as the Key: The write-up asserts that “men are the doors, but character is the key.” In the professional realm, human beings are the gatekeepers of opportunity. The hiring manager, the client, the mentor—they are the “doors.” No amount of technical skill (the “crowbar”) will open these doors if the character (the “key”) is malformed. Character is the aggregate of one’s manners. It is the consistency of respect, the reliability of word, and the courage to be humble. A leader with impeccable character finds doors swinging open because the gatekeepers trust the hand that turns the key.

Part IV: The Sacred Trust of Access—A Privilege, Not a Right

One of the most dangerous fallacies in leadership is the conflation of access with equality. Access to the CEO, access to confidential data, or access to decision-making corridors is a privilege conferred by the organization or society. It is never an inherent right.

·         The Abuse of Familiarity: When a leader assumes that because they have access to a subordinate’s time, they have the right to disregard that subordinate’s personal boundaries, they abuse the privilege. Interrupting a team member’s lunch for a non-urgent query, sending emails at midnight with the expectation of immediate replies, or using positional power to bypass protocols are all abuses of access. This behavior erodes the “manna” of goodwill and replaces it with the “mire” of burnout and attrition.

·         The Illusion of Equality: Access does not equal equality. A leader may have the privilege of a private office, but they must treat the cleaner who enters that office with the same dignity as the visiting dignitary. Treating all interactions with dignified honor does not mean treating everyone identically; it means treating everyone with an equivalent standard of respect, tailored to the context. The intern deserves the leader’s full attention during a one-on-one meeting, just as the board member does. The difference is the topic, not the tone.

Part V: The Doorway to All Doors—The Practical Prescription

If “men are the doors,” and “character is the key,” then the leadership prescription is clear: invest relentlessly in the refinement of character through the daily practice of manners.

1. The Prescription of Active Listening: Leadership is often reduced to speaking, but the ultimate manner is silence—the silence that allows others to speak. In board meetings, practice the 70/30 rule: listen 70% of the time, speak 30%. When you listen, you honor the speaker’s presence. This opens the “door” to innovative ideas that the loud leader would never hear.

2. The Prescription of the Handwritten Note: In a digital age, the analog gesture carries disproportionate weight. A leader who sends a handwritten thank-you note to a retiring employee or a successful project lead demonstrates a timeless mannerism. This act of appreciation is a “key” that unlocks immense loyalty. It costs little but yields substantial “manna” in emotional currency.

3. The Prescription of Punctuality and Preparation: Manners are a form of preparation. Arriving on time for a meeting is a statement that you value the other person’s time. Preparing for a discussion shows respect for the intellectual capacity of those attending. This builds a culture of competence and mutual esteem.

4. The Prescription of Public Praise and Private Critique: Criticism must be a gift wrapped in privacy; praise must be a celebration broadcasted publicly. This is a core mannerism of leadership. It protects the dignity of the individual while elevating the standard for the team. When critique is handled with discretion, the “door” of vulnerability remains open for growth.

Part VI: The Abuses and Their Antidotes

Leadership culture across boards often suffers from the “elite syndrome”—the belief that positional power absolves one of basic courtesy.

·         The Abuse of Interruption: Leaders frequently interrupt to display intellectual dominance. Antidote: Institute a “no interruption” rule in strategic meetings. Allow the speaker to complete their thought. This forces active listening and often reveals that the “interrupter” had nothing new to add.

·         The Abuse of Credit: Leaders often take credit for team successes to bolster their image. Antidote: Practice the art of “Giving the Gold.” Explicitly name the contributors in external communications. When the leader gives away the credit, they gain the far greater reward of trust.

·         The Abuse of Emotional Dumping: Leaders sometimes use subordinates as emotional punching bags during stressful periods. Antidote: Cultivate emotional regulation. Establish a “cooling-off” period before responding to aggravating emails or situations. The leader who controls their emotions controls the room.

Part VII: Conclusion—The Synthesis of Civility and Sovereignty

In the final analysis, manners are not soft skills; they are sovereign skills. They are the demarcation between the ruler and the tyrant, the mentor and the demagogue. The ultimate essence of leadership is found not in the magnitude of the decisions one makes, but in the dignity with which one makes them.

We must elevate the narrative: “Manners give the Manna” is not a cliché but a cognitive framework for operational excellence. “Mannerism is Cultural Intelligence” is not a theory but a necessity for the globalized leader. “Manners make the Man” is not a moral judgment but a practical reality—we are what we repeatedly do.

To the leaders of tomorrow: Access is your platform, not your pedestal. Dignity is your armor. Appreciation is your fuel. The character you forge through your daily interactions is the master key that unlocks every door. Lead with the grace that acknowledges the humanity in every handshake, every email, and every glance. In doing so, you will not only harvest the “manna” of success but will cultivate a legacy of honor that outlives your tenure.

This is the concrete solution prescription: To lead is to serve with honor; to serve with honor is to practice impeccable manners; to practice impeccable manners is to secure the key to every door.

We all should further note that: The world does not need more leaders with sharper strategies; it needs leaders with softer hearts and stiffer backbones—leaders who understand that every interaction is an inheritance, and every word is a testament. This write-up, is a written manual, which I have placed in our hands to further turn it into remarkable actions across board, even in generations to come.

Dr. Tolulope A. Adegoke, AMBP-UN is a globally recognized scholar-practitioner and thought leader at the nexus of security, governance, and strategic leadership. His mission is dedicated to advancing ethical governance, strategic human capital development, resilient nation building, and global peace. He can be reached via: tolulopeadegoke01@gmail.comglobalstageimpacts@gmail.com

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